with Matt.”
Rachel’s expression held no censure, simply concern and kindness. “Maybe you should be with him.”
Nikki sighed and stared out the window over the sink. All she could see was the sky, so clear and blue. “I think I might make things worse.”
“Come on, you can’t really think that.” Rachel reached over and rubbed her arm. “Your brother loves you, and he understands.”
“I don’t want to disappoint him, but I can’t fake that I care. Because I don’t. I—I—” Nikki looked at Hilda. “I saw you say a brief prayer and I thought, why can’t I be that charitable? What’s wrong with me?”
“Oh, Nikki.” Rachel scooted her chair closer. “You barely know the man, and he’s been nothing but horrible to you, to your mom, everyone.”
“What I hate most is how he treated Matt. I can’t forgive him for that.”
Rachel shrugged. “Neither can I.”
“But then I’m not hurting Wallace. It’s Matt who’s suffered because I’ve been selfish, and now it’s too late.” Nikki rarely cried, but she was starting to choke. Kindness did that to her.
“This is my honest opinion,” Rachel said, her gaze steady. “Both of you were better off with you keeping your distance. Two extra hands might’ve helped, but not the tension. Knowing how you feel, Matt never wanted you waiting on Wallace or taking care of him. He’d rather you make a clean start here, create good memories.”
In a way this was making Nikki feel worse. Rachel was warm, supportive and perfect for Matt. And Nikki adored her. So how could she feel jealous at the same time? She struggled daily with her petty thoughts. Her relationship with her brother was still new but already changing since he’d hooked up with Rachel. They were great, both trying to keep her from feeling like the odd person out. Nikki’s contribution was to disappear as much as possible.
“I have a confession.” Hilda put a glass of orange juice in front of Nikki. It was understood she’d better drink it, or else. “Yes, you saw me making the sign of the cross. You know why? Because I know Mr. Gunderson is not going up there,” she said solemnly, pointing at the ceiling.
With a straight face, Rachel asked, “You mean upstairs?”
Nikki was able to hold back a grin. Until Hilda glared at Rachel, who started laughing and turning as red as a tomato.
“I wouldn’t even expect that from your brothers.” Hilda turned to the stove, no amusement in her face.
“I’m sorry,” Rachel said. “I shouldn’t have joked. I’m tired, though that’s no excuse.” She stood. “If you don’t need me, I’ll go see Matt.”
Nikki didn’t dare look at her again. If she did, she’d start laughing and not stop. It was one of those weird inappropriate reactions you couldn’t explain. And she’d hate to upset Hilda. She reminded Nikki of her grandmother, and she’d been just as kind, throwing in Spanish words here and there, trying to make Nikki feel at home. She didn’t have the heart to admit her Spanish vocabulary consisted mostly of cusswords.
“I can help,” Nikki said, once Rachel was gone. “I’ll wash sheets, towels, do whatever you need.” She picked up the glass and gulped down some juice before Hilda turned to her.
With amusement dancing in her dark eyes, Hilda waved a wooden spoon in the direction Rachel had disappeared. “Lucky for that one she doesn’t get into more trouble.” Hilda looked at Nikki. “How about a bean and cheese burrito, chica?”
Nikki blinked. Her go-to comfort food. Of course Hilda would know...she was from a poor Texas border town and had grown up much like Nikki. “I would love one,” she said.
“Red hot sauce?”
Nikki nodded, saw Hilda shake her head again at Rachel, and started to laugh. The short break she’d taken to compose herself meant nothing. She couldn’t stop laughing.
Until her eyes filled with tears.
* * *
TRACE HAD SEEN Nikki’s truck so he knew she was at the Sundance. He figured she’d be in the kitchen with Rachel. He entered the house through the mudroom and found her sitting at the table.
Her head was bowed, her long dark hair loose and hiding her face. Her shoulders shook, and it kind of sounded as if she was laughing. But he prepared himself to be wrong. Pulling off his work gloves, he lifted a brow at Hilda. She shrugged, then gestured for him to stay back. Bad sign.
He liked being around women, no secret there, but one who was crying made him want to pack a tent