man, but you’re losing ground here. I hate to say it, but you’ve got to step it up if you hope to get a good report from Feinburg.”
A nurse pushed a gurney along the hallway and we stepped out of her way. “I’m doing the best I can.”
Drew brought his own cup of coffee to his lips and studied me over the lid. “You know what you need?”
I groaned. My friend had been pressing his ideas of what I needed onto me long enough for me to know exactly what was on his mind. “Not this again.”
In Drew-like fashion, he completely disregarded my desire not to be lectured and continued. “You need to get out and live a little. Meet a woman. Go on a date. How long has it been?”
I ignored Drew as I checked the computer for the overnight admits. Only two, and not for anything more serious than observation. I glanced back at my friend. “I’m running on fumes as it is. I’m sorry, but there aren’t enough hours in the day to eat healthily, exercise, get work done, read the books Dr. Feinburg has assigned, and, oh, raise a four-year-old daughter on my own.”
Drew fiddled with the stethoscope around his neck. “You didn’t answer my question. How long has it been since you’ve gone on a date?”
Drew was an affable type of guy. Easy-going and fun-loving. We’d started residency at the same time, and he’d been there for me for the last year. He’d heard my story. He knew.
I hadn’t been on a date since Laura died. Technically, even before that, because she’d been so sick while carrying Chloe. My reasons were as I stated to him—I had no time or energy to invest in another person right now. Whatever the hospital didn’t suck from me, I gave to Chloe. I couldn’t rob her of even more of me to give to a woman. That wouldn’t be fair to any of us.
I made to push past him. “I’ve got to get to rounds.”
His arm shot out and blocked my exit. “I’m only saying something because I care about you, man. You can’t keep going on like this. You’re going to drive yourself into an early grave.”
I laughed, but the sound lacked any humor. “And adding the complication of women is going to relieve my stress?”
“Hey, don’t downplay the benefits of female companionship.”
I shoved his arm out of the way. “Thanks for the coffee, but this little chat has only made me later. We both need to get to rounds.”
“Just think about what I said.” He called to my retreating back.
As much as I tried not to, I couldn’t get his voice out of my mind. Well, not his voice, really, but the seed he’d planted there.
The truth was, I did miss being in a relationship. I missed being in a crowd of people, meeting a gaze, and holding back laughter at a perfectly timed eye-roll. I missed overheating while cuddling but not wanting to move an inch because I couldn’t bear the thought of space between our bodies. I missed hearing The Princess Bride quotes even though I loathed the movie. Or being teased about how many times I washed my hands in a day.
Or coming home after a rough shift and knowing there was someone there who’d understand. A best friend, a helper, a lover.
I’d had all that with Laura. My one great love. It would be selfish to think I should get a second chance.
I shook my head and inspected the notes on Mr. Jenkins’ chart. I needed to concentrate on a sixty-three-year-old man’s cardiac arrhythmia, not my own loneliness.
“Ben!”
My head whipped around at the call of my name.
Molly walked toward me. What was she doing here?
I might as well have been holding my own chart because, at that moment, my heart skipped a beat.
5
Molly
A few necks craned my direction as my outburst reverberated off the linoleum floors. I ducked my head but offered an apologetic smile to an elderly woman in the waiting room whom I’d apparently startled awake from a little nap. “Sorry.”
Ben rushed toward me, the bottom of his white doctor’s coat puffing out and trailing behind him like a superhero’s cape. Worry lines creased his brow and his gaze bounced frantically around my face.
The man in front of me had the same desperation as the one I’d met the day before, but the charming smile and easy manner were nowhere in sight. Instead of the confident doctor laying out a