Good God, you’re insane. Brighton Starbucks wasn’t going anywhere, and I knew I would be back for a coffee and a pee in no time. A sticker on a woman’s laptop caught my attention: Are you sure it isn’t your fault?
The crisp air gave me a shiver, so I held the warm coffee cups tighter in my hands. Standing outside the passenger window, Anderson jumped when I tapped on the window.
Surprise seemed to spread on his face as I extended the small coffee I’d purchase for him. “Thank you. Thank you very much.”
“It’s only coffee,” I mumbled as I walked around to the driver’s side.
Continuing on our way to the airport, the silence between us gave me time to think. Unfortunately, thinking was not what I needed. I needed space. Space away from the man who had me so far out of my comfort zone that I couldn’t remember where my comfort zone began or ended.
Then it hit me. The reason I was so angry wasn’t because Anderson had deleted the message. It wasn’t that he allowed me to believe I had been stood up. I was angry at myself for not being angry. Had a friend told me that a man she just met deleted a text message from another guy, I would have told her to get as far away from him as possible.
What does it say about me that I can forgive or, worse, be flattered that this man violated my privacy? Jesus, J. You like him. Like, like him. Like him.
Anderson cleared his throat, “I messed up. I’ve been thinking this whole drive about what to say to fix this. I’m not very good at this.”
“Well, you’re right about that. You’re not.”
21
Anderson
The day started like any other Wednesday—a list of tasks Jurnee and I had to check off to get to the next phase of the project. Monday and Tuesday were awkward without our usual banter. We were researching coffee distributors, and Graham suggested we book a trip to visit final candidates on site. Alan’s objections to notifying potential vendors, by ordering samples before there was a signed contract, were noted and quickly forgotten.
Come on, Man. Talk to her. You know you miss her.
Martin dropped off another box of coffee bean samples and offered to pick up snacks for taste testing. I was laying out the samples and scanning the corresponding documentation, not paying attention to the snack banter, nor when he actually left the conference room. That’s when it happened again. My mouth ran without my mind’s okay.
“I’d like to try practice dating again, but less on the practice side.” Jurnee lowered the coffee bean sample packet she had been smelling to reveal a stunned expression. “I miss spending time with you. I swear to never touch your phone or violate your privacy.”
“I–”
This wasn’t the time to allow her to shut me down before all the words were on the table. “I also understand that this will be my only second chance.”
Jurnee looked down at the conference room table covered in different coffee samples. “We–”
“Okay. Maybe dating is too much for you right now. It’s not for me, but I’m willing to wait. Let’s just spend time together without calling it dating and have Derrick take down your profile.”
“How–”
“You’re right.” I threw my hands in the air. “I just said I have no intention of interfering with your practice dating on the dating app.”
Jurnee sat the sample on the table and sat back in her chair directly across from where I was seated. Her head tilted to the right, causing her hair to fall in front of her eyes. A smile appeared as she brushed the hair behind her ear. Is that a smile? I’ve missed that smile. Man, you are totally a pussy.
“Is it safe for me to talk now?”
My brain screamed ‘no,’ but I pushed my lips together and waited.
“I’ve missed spending time with you as well. I was going to suggest we have dinner together before the end of the day if you had said nothing.” Her nervous laughter caused a released of all the tension in my shoulders.
We spent the rest of the afternoon comparing coffee samples, discussing supply chains, and catching each other staring before turning away like teenagers’ first experience of chemistry.
Don’t ask her out for tonight. Play it cool, Man. “Are you available tomorrow night?”
“Actually, tomorrow works perfectly. I’m taking Friday off to look at apartments.”
Shaking my head, I fought to release control. “Anywhere you’d like to go