trying to form an idea, but like so many things of late it was ever so slightly out of his grasp.
‘The thing is, there are all sorts of ways to try and meet new people. But they all tend to focus on being social, and it’s not that Keisha isn’t capable of being social, but she very much knows what she likes and prefers to stick to what she’s happy with. It took me quite a while to get her to agree to do this.’
‘It seems such a shame they don’t have the youth groups and tea dances like we used to.’
‘I doubt you’d get Keisha to dance, whatever the circumstances.’
‘That’s true. I did try once. She didn’t take it well.’
Tess laughed, her smile as bright as the glitter in her café. ‘At the moment it’s the best idea I have. If you can think of anything better, you let me know. But remember she’s comfortable doing it here. She likes the fact she can buy her own drink and not argue over who pays the bill. She likes the fact that there’s an exit if she ever needs one, which she nearly always does. She likes the lines to be defined on her terms.’
‘Have you ever tried the newspapers?’
‘What, like the lonely heart ads? Do they still do them?’
‘Well, how about inviting all the lonely hearts here at once?’
‘For Keisha to date? I’m not sure that’ll work out if they’re all over fifty.’
‘No, of course not. We’d have to work out the exact details, but you’ve got the seating. Wouldn’t it be possible to do one of those speed-dating evenings? And if we get Keisha to agree, you might be able to strike more than one number off your chart at once. If she believes that you can work out if your heart belongs to someone the moment you meet them, and she prefers to run away if there is no glimmer of cardiac response, then three minutes would be the perfect length of date, surely?’
‘You have a point.’ Tess gazed up as if trying to peer at her own thoughts. ‘I wish I’d thought of it. I’m just not sure how soon I’d be able to arrange something like that.’
‘I can help. If you’re having me to stay here then I’ll need something to keep me amused. We can see if we can make some money for the café as well as find love for Keisha.’
‘That would be amazing. Are you happy to come and stay here? It’s going to be nice having your company for a while.’
‘More than happy. The sleep lab has been great, but it was only ever for a while. Your offer of your spare room is very generous and perfect for while I secure the new flat.’
The bell of the door rang again, signalling Keisha’s return. As she joined them both they had to hope the rest of their lunchtime conversation lasted longer than the date had.
Part III
The Left Atrium
The left atrium receives oxygenated blood from the lungs.
In other words, it’s the point at which we start to recover…
35
Keisha
In all the years I’ve worked as a research associate for Southampton University, I’ve never taken a day off sick. That is until now.
It seems wrong somehow, given that I don’t have a cold and I’m not in hospital like Lucy is. But this is a mental-health day. This is a day because it has all got too much and because this morning I woke up with my fingers plugged to my neck, smothered by the thickness of my anxiety. Clive has become Tess’s temporary tenant. Lucy will be back home tomorrow. I have this window of twenty-four hours without responsibility, but the walls are pushing in on me, not allowing my fingers to let go of my neck.
It must have started in my sleep, when I was dreaming. It seems taking my pulse happens so instinctively now that it can occur when I’m not awake. In my dream, my heartbeat was absent. I went to take a reading, like I so frequently do, only this time there was no reward of tracing my heart rhythm. There was nothing. For the first time in my life, I felt what it is like to be flatlining.
The dream brought with it so many difficult memories and when I jolted myself awake, there was nothing I was able to do to stop myself from checking. I needed to feel that rhythm to take myself away from a time