‘It’s varied greatly so far. From nonchalance to full-out fury.’
‘What are your bets today?’
Tess glanced over. ‘Quarter of an hour to notice and disbelief. And yours?’
‘Five and fury.’ Clive raised a bushy eyebrow.
‘We’ll see who’s closest.’ Tess left the table and busied herself with clearing another before heading back to the other side of the counter ready to observe.
Clive had to feel sorry for the chap. Dating in the modern age must be hard enough without this. Although he knew Keisha wouldn’t leave without reason. To ensure the bet with Tess was a fair one, and possibly because he’d spent too much time with Keisha recently, he decided to accurately time how long it was before this chap left. As luck would have it, he actually had a stopwatch in his pocket from the lab. He started it, realising he would have to add a minute for accuracy.
Clive returned to his corned beef hash as the seconds soon moved on to minutes. The dish was delicious and was melting in his mouth. Tess was a spectacular cook. This recipe would be particularly good if he ever had a glut of potatoes that needed using up.
The thought gave him an idea. Perhaps, if Tess was open to the suggestion, he could provide the café with anything surplus to his needs. That way dishes like this would be locally sourced. It was nice to think about doing something productive as he watched the seconds and minutes click by. Over the past few weeks – or perhaps it had been years – he’d been in a hiatus, and it was astonishing to think this young group of strangers had helped him so willingly. It would be nice to somehow thank them for all their kindnesses.
It was a clear ten minutes before date forty-two even glanced up from his phone.
Clive couldn’t help feeling sad about the younger generation. They were always on the go. Always switched on. Never fully present. Not able to notice when a date had vanished into thin air.
Date forty-two peered at his phone again, tapping something into the small screen as if that was more important than checking the woman he was here to see was okay.
If it wasn’t for the fact he knew Keisha had taken a different exit, Clive would be going to check himself. At least by sitting here and observing this non-reaction he knew that Keisha wasn’t missing out. This man was certainly not a gentleman of the kind of standing he’d want for his young friend.
Tess was leaning against the back counter with her arms crossed and when Clive glanced her way, she did the biggest eye roll he’d ever witnessed. It took all his restraint not to laugh out loud.
It would seem the muffled noise he emitted was enough to wake date forty-two. He peered around and for the first time paid attention to the fact his date was no longer there.
Then he slinked out of the café like it was all par for the course.
‘Well I never,’ Clive said once the door closed. ‘Is that really how it plays out these days?’
Tess came over, bringing a hot chocolate for him. He always had a hot chocolate instead of having any kind of dessert.
‘Honestly, I know Keisha walking out is rude, but why don’t they check? I’ve known women to take more than ten minutes in the loo. You’d think they’d at least ask if she was okay. In all the other dates, only three of them have asked me to check if she’s okay!’
‘Really? Those statistics are terrible and we know how Keisha likes a statistic. Wherever you’re getting these men from, I’m sure they can’t be representing the national average.’
‘I’m really hoping not.’
‘Am I right in thinking you normally set up these dates for Keisha on her behalf via a phone application?’
Tess nods. ‘But I can’t be held responsible for the lack of quality out there.’
‘Not at all, dear. I just wondered if it’s really the best way to go around selecting appropriate candidates.’
‘The majority of my friends use the internet or dating apps. Although they probably don’t tend to get their friend to do it on their behalf. I know it’s not exactly creative, but it’s the best way to go about it given that Keisha’s reluctant about the whole thing.’
‘But isn’t it a little, I don’t know… Boring and impersonal?’ Clive was