Mismatched Under the Mistletoe - Jess Michaels Page 0,55

were only friends, despite some murmurings to the contrary.”

“We always were friends until…” Emily let out a long sigh and then leaned closer to whisper the story to Virginia. Of the affair. Of Cav’s confession of a decade of secret love. And when she was finished, Virginia looked as shocked as she, herself, felt.

“So for nine years…” she breathed.

Emily nodded. “Yes. So he says.”

“And you didn’t know? That is like something out of a book!”

Emily hesitated. It did seem like something out of one of her beloved novels. The ones she read out to Cav in the winter when he came to call. He’d lounge on her chaise, eyes closed, a contented smile on his handsome face. And afterward they’d eat supper together and discuss whatever latest adventures had been had in the pages. She shook the thought away.

“I didn’t see,” Emily said. “But now all I can do is see. And recognize how the signs of his feelings were before me all along.”

“What do you mean?”

Emily glanced across the room at him again. Cav was talking to Allington, now. His expression was serious. It was so rarely serious that it made her catch her breath.

“All the times he looked at me, smiled at me from across a room like this. All the times he sat with me, the only one who didn’t tell me I must stop crying or overcome my grief after Andrew was gone. All the times he cried right along with me. All the times he teased me or encouraged me or supported me…I realize now all of those were his declarations of love.”

Virginia blinked, and there were tears in her eyes that matched the sting in Emily’s. “But what about you?”

“Me?”

“You two have always been thick as thieves,” Virginia said. “What about all the times you did the same things you’ve described Mr. Cavendish doing?”

Emily bent her head. She’d been so focused on Cav that she’d been ignoring her own heart. Perhaps because exploring that heart would lead to a response to what he’d told her. Something that would change things between them, no matter what she decided about the future.

But that was unfair to him. Unfair to herself. At some point she had to stop being a coward.

“At first my responses to him were truly only in friendship,” she said. “But I suppose, when I think about it, when I truly consider the last few years especially…” She trailed off. “Oh, Virginia, I don’t know what we’ve shared, what I’ve done is anymore. Or was. Or what it could be. I’m just so confused because now it’s all colored by what he has said.”

Virginia caught her hands. “Hush now, don’t get upset. How you feel is completely understandable. It’s a great deal to think about.”

“It is so much,” Emily agreed. “What he has told me could change everything in my life. Everything in my future. It has already changed our friendship, our connection.”

Virginia squeezed her hands gently. “May I make a suggestion?”

Emily nodded. “I would take any I can get at this point. Please, help me!”

Virginia smiled at her. “Don’t rush this.”

“But—” Emily began.

Virginia laughed. “I can see that is an anathema to you. You seem the sort of person who likes to have an answer right away.”

“Yes. I’ve always gone with my instincts when it comes to what to do.” Emily huffed out a breath. “I plan parties with birds as the centerpiece within weeks, I change my hair on a whim, I don’t know what I want until the exact moment I want it. How can a person like me come up with an answer for a man who has…plodded along with his affection for a third of his life? He’s been pondering this, Virginia, if you can imagine such a thing.”

Virginia’s laughter continued. “The fact that you can tease about it is a good thing. But that vital part of your personality, that impulsiveness that makes you so much fun to be around…I’m not sure that is the right answer here. Mr. Cavendish was right when he said he’s had years to understand his heart. To come to grips with these emotions that now bubble between you two. You have had what…just a bit more than twelve hours?”

Emily glanced at the clock. “Fifteen hours, twelve minutes…give or take a few seconds.”

“Then I do not think that asking him for a few days, at a minimum, is expecting too much.”

“No,” Emily agreed. “And he would never demand me to do what I