Mismatched Under the Mistletoe - Jess Michaels Page 0,54

“Well, we’ll just have to make a party without him, won’t we? Would you care to dance, Lady Rutledge?”

Emily nodded, for there was no way to refuse. Perhaps it would give her racing mind a rest. So she took to the floor and danced. She put on a show for her party until long after midnight.

And all the while she screamed inside, thinking of what Cav had told her. Running over and over the look on his face when he’d admitted his heart. And wondering what in the world she should do…how she should respond when everything felt so important and close.

She would have to decide soon. Cav had, apparently, been waiting a long time. And the longer this hung between them, the more she feared it would grow into a wall she could not surmount. And that would be a tragedy.

Chapter 14

Twelve Fiddlers Fiddling

“It has been a good party.”

Emily jolted as Lady Hickson slipped up beside her, and they stood together, watching the fiddlers play at the final official gathering of the season. The party had gone to Epiphany services together a few hours before. For some they seemed far too early after such a ball the night before. Gifts had been exchanged, games played, and now the group sat quietly, listening to the music, talking to each other softly.

An anticlimactic end to what she had hoped to achieve here. And to what had actually happened within these walls.

Her gaze slipped to Cav. He was sitting all the way across the music room from her. Twenty steps or less, but it felt like an insurmountable distance. He smiled at her and lifted a glass in mock toast.

Perhaps that should have put her at ease, that friendly little look he’d given her a thousand times, but it somehow didn’t. She still had no idea how to feel, what to do, what to say to him. And at any rate, the smile didn’t reach his eyes. Not anymore.

“My lady?”

Emily started as she realized she had not yet responded to Lady Hickson. “Yes, very nice,” she managed weakly as Cav looked away.

Lady Hickson wrinkled her brow. “You don’t sound very convincing.”

Emily bowed her head as heat flooded her cheeks. “I apologize. I don’t think I’m much good company at present.”

Lady Hickson caught her arm and drew her farther from the crowd. Her expression was seeking and worried. “Emily.” She accentuated Emily’s given name. “You and I have only been passing friends over the years, but I have made an observation of you in that time. You’ve seemed…troubled since the ball last night.”

Emily shut her eyes briefly. Since Cav’s confession. She’d tried so hard to not let anyone else see her feelings, but clearly she had failed. But how could she not? To know what was in his heart…what had been in his heart for their entire friendship…

It had changed her irrevocably.

Virginia was still talking. “Since you’ve been so kind as to include me here, to offer me kindness at a time of year that is usually difficult for me, might I offer you some of the same in return?”

“How?” Emily croaked. “How could you help me?”

Virginia squeezed her arm. “I could offer an ear, if you need it. A talk, widow to widow.”

Emily shifted and her gaze returned to Cav. She did so desperately need to speak about what had happened. Just to say it out loud in the hopes it would stop repeating in her head over and over and over again. “I-I normally speak to him about my troubles.”

Virginia followed her gaze and her eyes went a little wider. “Ah, I see. Am I to assume that he is your trouble now?”

Emily glanced at her. Virginia had never been anything but kind to her. She was not known as a gossip. Perhaps this was a risk she could take. Needed to take.

“What I’m about to tell you is intensely private,” she whispered. “May I count on you to keep your counsel?”

Virginia held her stare. “I swear to you on the soul of my dearly departed mama, whatever you say shall never find any other ears from me.”

“Things between Cavendish and me have…shifted here,” she admitted, and felt her cheeks burn with the intimacy of what she was saying.

Virginia swallowed. “Shifted. What do you mean?” Emily worried her lip and raised both eyebrows gently. Now it was Virginia’s turn to blush. “Are you speaking of…physically?”

“Yes,” Emily whispered. “I’m speaking of exactly what you think.”

“Oh my,” Virginia gasped. “I thought you two