face her mentor.
"You're back to writing again," Marlene said quietly. "That's good."
"Yeah," Damali murmured. "It's all good."
The two women sat in strained silence, Marlene's gaze going toward the sealed windows and then to the floor as she clasped her hands in her lap.
"Damali, I'm sorry," Marlene finally murmured as she let her breath out slowly and then studied her hands. "I've been really tough on you for a long time, and I don't even know where to begin. There's so much to teach you, and so little time."
The silence made Marlene look up to connect with Damali's gaze.
"I'm trying so hard," Damali whispered, "to be what everyone says I am, or that I need to be ... but I'm human, too."
"Yes, baby, you are," Marlene whispered back, and then glanced away.
"I don't understand everything that's happening. I don't even know how I feel about anything anymore," Damali admitted, making Marlene look up at her again. "Everything feels like it's spinning out of control, and like as a team, we're on the verge of another catastrophe ... and I don't know how, or if, I can stop it."
The two women quietly stared at each other for a long time, until Marlene nodded.
"I should have told you everything earlier," Marlene said. "I just couldn't."
"Why now? That's the part that hurts so bad, Mar. You didn't trust me."
Marlene shook her head. "I trusted you. I just didn't trust my own fears." Marlene looked at Damali directly, her gaze furtive. "Fear is a terrible emotion. It makes you look at things from a very restricted point of view. I didn't want to lose you to the fallen night."
Damali's gaze softened and she could feel her body relax. "I know that, Mar. But where's your faith? You have to allow a person to figure out some of this stuff on their own."
Marlene nodded and laughed sadly. "From the mouths of babes come words of wisdom. When you live a long time, fear starts to make your bones... your mind ... your spirit brittle to any change. That's because change always seems to have pain associated with it - and comes at a frighteningly high price."
Damali stood and went over to sit next to Marlene. Her arms found her mentor's shoulders and she hugged her. Marlene let out a long, exhausted breath. The worry laced within that breath threaded its way through Damali's heart, touching the core of her.
"I love you so much, Mar. I would never do anything to hurt you. Don't you know how I feel about you and the group? You're family."
Marlene nodded and pulled away gently so she could stare at Damali while holding her hands. "You are so young and so beautiful that I guess I just wanted to wrap you up in a bubble of safety and keep you away from any of this big, bad world. I'm a mother. One day, God willing, you will be one, too. Then you'll know a level of fear that goes beyond your own personal safety."
Tears formed in Marlene's eyes as she spoke. "Even if there were no such things as vampires or demons, I'd still have this fear. I pray daily for each of you, but not as hard for the others as I pray for you, my baby girl."
Wiping at the tears that had fallen from Marlene's wise, aging eyes, Damali kissed her cheek. "I love you. Do you understand?"
Marlene nodded and smiled, and then chuckled in a tone so sad that Damali swallowed as tears threatened her own composure.
"I've taught you almost everything I know to make you strong, independent, and courageous, and I tried to pass on all of that - then, when you were ready to fly, I was the one clipping your wings. Like I said, it's insane, but real. I'm sorry."
"No, don't be sorry, Mar." Damali shook her head and pushed a stray lock off Marlene's shoulder. "Momma eagle, you have flown through storms, hunted and brought back food for the nest, and battled in the wilderness. It is dangerous out there, and I'm so new ... just floating on air ... while you have the eagle eyes that know there's a storm coming, there's a cliff nearby, fierce beasts in the night, and you did what you knew, screeched a warning for me to get back to the nest. Your eyes and instincts are still good, Marlene. Know that I respect that. Please."
Marlene chuckled again softly, wiping at her own tears as she broke Damali's