wasn’t his style.
She didn’t reach for it. Didn’t even look at it. “You don’t know what it is.”
“It’s a DNA test, which means it’s about to change someone’s life and I don’t think it’s yours.”
Eli got everything else right but the last part. “It might.”
“Meaning?”
This was not her secret to tell. She’d already broken too many unspoken rules without smashing Gabe’s insistence on privacy to pieces. “Not important.”
Eli shifted until his back leaned against the glass and he blocked her view of Andy and Gabe milling around in the kitchen. “Natalie, look. I know we haven’t always agreed on every operation and every maneuver.”
“Did we ever agree on anything?” She remembered yelling and heated debates. Eli had been a good agent but not always a careful one when it came to his own safety. He’d do anything to get the job done, which meant she’d spent more than a few nights worried the man had a death wish. He’d changed, but those memories lingered.
“You sacrificed a lot—everything—for me to be able to live the life I have now. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do to repay that.”
The words struck her as the most honest thing she’d ever heard Eli say. He made the vow not just in what he said but with his eyes and tone. “Is this the same Eli who once told me I talked like I had a desk shoved up my ass?”
“That sounds like something I would say.” Eli nodded. “The answer is yes and no. I’m smarter now. Maybe a bit more tactful. I know what it means to be in a position to lose something. I no longer zip through life expecting to die or assuming I know the right answer.”
Wade. She got the message and what Eli was trying to tell her, but the whole sharing-her-worries thing was not her strong suit. “I’m happy for you. Honestly.”
He leaned in a little closer as his voice dropped lower. “And I’m telling you we’re more alike than you want to think, so if the information in this envelope is going to wreck something you’re trying to build then let me take it back with me and shred it.”
“You know what it’s about.” She didn’t have to ask. She knew every inch of his file. His training and skills. Add to that the new layer of personal understanding and Eli put pieces together faster than ever.
“I have a clue who it’s about. At least the adult part, and the photos all over the house of Gabe with a kid hint at the rest.”
She put a hand on his arm. “You can’t tell anyone about the test or Brandon.”
“I don’t know anything about any of it.”
The anxiety welling in her stomach died back down as she dropped her hand. Eli could keep a secret, his and others. “Thanks.”
“Gabe’s a good guy. Ending up with him wouldn’t suck for you.”
She figured that was Eli-speak for saying he knew they were sleeping together and approved. For some reason, having her personal life paraded around still stung. “He’s protecting me.”
Eli scoffed. “Give me some credit.”
With the relationship still new and in limbo—with her not even knowing if what she had with Gabe qualified as a relationship—she switched to the other topic that stayed on her mind all the time now. “How did you do it? Adjust to life after?”
“It’s a bumpy ride and it still backs up on me some days, but you pick a new start and then go. Do not look back or second-guess. Don’t answer the phone when the people you used to work for, the same ones who threatened to wipe you off the planet, come sniffing around for a favor.”
Typical Eli. No stray details but he said enough for her to know exactly what he’d been ignoring the last few months. “You make it sound easy to move forward.”
“It’s not. Not even a little.” He tapped the file against the side of his thigh. “But Bast is speeding the process up for you. He’s been his usual ruthless self in negotiating on your behalf so that you can then make informed decisions about what comes next and feel safe doing it.”
“You mean Bast is threatening people who handle covert op teams for a living.” The idea of Bast using muscle didn’t bother her. She had to hope he covered his safety and the safety of those he cared about as he zigzagged through this dangerous turf.
But the CIA types, her former people? She had no