boots scrambled against the cliff, trying to find a slot for better leverage.
I was fighting to stay alive. And it wasn’t just some automatic response.
Every awful memory I’d just recalled vanished like the rocks into the ravine, and all I could think about was saving Lucas from that bear. Someone I cared about was in danger and I was able to protect him. That meant something. I meant something. I was capable of horrible things, but I also had the power to do some good in this world. I could still serve a purpose, and that purpose could be to help others. To protect them from people like Holland and even Quinn.
I wouldn’t be able to do that if I was splattered all over kingdom come.
My feet found a small pocket of space and my legs were able to push up enough to take some of the pressure off my arms. As my sensors provided me with data, I followed every directive to the letter. Eventually I was flat on my stomach on top of the rock, my fake pulse tearing through my artificial veins.
Recommendation: Seek more stable surroundings.
Return to ground elevation.
As I stood up and brushed myself off, I whispered a good-bye to the mountain and began my descent. My steps became steadier, my footing sturdier, and my mind focused on something besides my past transgressions.
Holland.
He’d convinced Nicole that giving up Sarah to the MILA project was an altruistic act. He’d made her think that it would be saving others.
I knew him well enough to know he was lying. Now, I needed to find out what he was lying about.
In order to protect people from Holland, I needed to go back to the beginning.
To Sarah.
And since I’d thrown away the memory stick, I’d have to retrace her history myself. I owed that much to her. To Daniel and Nicole. I owed that much to whomever else might become a victim of Holland.
And if the bomb triggered somewhere along the way? Well, at least I would go out fighting.
Lucas was waiting outside when I emerged from the trees and into the small clearing. Even from this distance, I could see his shoulders hunched against the cold while he paced back and forth. He checked his watch, raked a hand through his hair, then stared off in the direction of the snares.
My skin prickled with remorse. He’d obviously been very worried, and with good reason. I didn’t want to think about what I’d almost done.
“Hey,” I called out, breaking into a small jog. When he heard and saw me, his eyes closed and he mouthed something that looked like “thank god.”
He watched my approach without saying anything, the bandage on his forehead applied so sloppily that it was almost sticking to his eyelid. He must have slapped it on and then come back out here to wait for me until I returned. I was about to apologize, but he didn’t give me the chance. He just motioned toward the door and said, “Let’s go inside.”
We took our boots off and set them along the wall. He pulled his fleece jacket over his head and hung it on the hook before leading me into the sitting room.
And then he let me have it.
“What gives you the right to just run away like that?” he snapped. “I had no idea where you were going or if you were okay. The way you took off, it was like . . .” He stopped, exasperated, and then he flopped down on a chair, putting his head in his hands. “It looked like you weren’t planning on coming back,” he finally muttered.
Lucas had never been angry with me before and I had no idea what to do or say. “I’m sorry.”
“I know,” he said, sighing. “But you can’t disappear like that. Ever again. We have to stick together. It’s the only way . . .”
His voice trailed off and he sighed again, heavier and longer this time. The depth of his concern touched something, deep in my heart.
“The only way to what?”
His hands fell into his lap and he finally looked up at me. “Something happened while you were gone.”
“Did you get in a fight with Tim? Is he onto me?”
“No, he went on a supply run after he saw my cut. We’re out of iodine,” he explained.
“Then what is it?” I asked, a little relieved.
Lucas got up and walked toward his room, nodding for me to follow. Once we got there, he collapsed in front