it was going to be bloody hard. Only for Savannah. How many times had Josh asked him what happened? Not even for his brother could he reveal what occurred that night. But for Savannah, he would. Not only because he owed her an explanation and apology but because … hell, because despite everything within him telling him he was a fool, he was still crazy about her.
Her smile of uncertainty when she opened the door was a reflection of his own doubts. Would this change everything between them? Or nothing at all? Would it put the past to rights or destroy this new and fragile beginning? How could he make her understand, when he sometimes had trouble justifying his actions even to himself?
“Hope you’re hungry.”
“I didn’t expect to eat. You didn’t have to go to the trouble of making a meal.”
She shrugged and led him into the kitchen. “I know it’s your dinner break, and I had to eat, too.”
The nonchalant comment made it appear the meal would be something simple and quick. Nothing could have been further from the truth. The table held a delicious-looking meal of roast beef, mashed potatoes and gravy, green beans, fried okra, sliced tomatoes, and rolls. And on the counter, he spotted a pecan pie. Despite his nervousness, his stomach made an approving leap.
Unable to hide his surprise, he said, “You went to a lot of trouble.”
She blushed and waved away his compliment. “I didn’t feel like packing this afternoon, so I decided to play in the kitchen.”
Never had he wanted to kiss her more. The shy smile and blush reminded him of when they’d first started dating. She’d been so sweet, so insecure, and so very unaware of her effect on him. Since she had returned, her mask of sophisticated coolness had covered the naïve, young beauty he’d fallen in love with. Just one glimpse of the girl he’d loved made his heart ache. She had been innocent and pure, and he’d screwed up massively.
Pushing aside the regret, he asked, “Anything I can do to help?”
“No, we’re set. Have a seat and I’ll pour the tea.”
She placed the iced tea before him and then sat down across the table from him. “Hope you don’t mind eating at the kitchen table. The dining room is too formal and the morning room is still too hot this time of day.”
“I always enjoyed eating in this kitchen. Brings back lots of good memories.”
It was an opening he expected her to take. Her smile was wistful. “We did have a lot of good times in here.” The smile disappeared and, as expected, she went straight for the heart. “Why, Zach?”
The roast tasteless in his mouth, Zach swallowed and put his fork down. “When I left here that night, I had every intention of coming back the next day to say goodbye before I left.”
She blew out a shaky breath, her relief apparent. It hurt that she had believed he had led her on. Had she thought that once they’d had sex, he’d gotten what he wanted and it was over? Had his promises not meant anything? Zach jerked himself out of his unwarranted hurt. He was the one who’d left without a word, the one who hadn’t contacted her for months. He had no right to be hurt.
“When I left here, I remembered I’d promised to cook breakfast for my mom the next day. I knew she wouldn’t have gone to the store. I could’ve gone across town to the mini-mart, but Henson had just started experimenting with staying open twenty-four hours. Most times I tried to stay away from that store because of our history. But I was cocky … told myself I was leaving town the next day and the bastard had no control over where I went and what I did.”
He shook his head as the memories washed over him. “Not a day goes by that I don’t wish I’d made a different decision.”
TEN YEARS AGO
Zach parked in the almost empty parking lot and got out of the car. With any luck, he could avoid old man Henson, get the few things he needed, and be in bed by one. Tomorrow was going to be a busy and emotional day. If he’d been stronger, he would have said his final goodbye to Savannah a few minutes ago and not have to go through the gut-wrenching agony again. But tonight she had given him her body and her heart, and saying goodbye after something so