and you’re alone because you were too afraid to take a chance.”
Silver’s eyes widened. “Is that what you think about Jasper?”
“Me?” Wynn rolled her eyes. “No and no. Look, he and I had a great time, but it was never going to be anything. I made sure of that with my rules about Hunter. He never loved me enough to fight and I never cared enough to bend. We let each other go without a backward glance. I don’t regret Jasper but I do regret keeping myself so closed off all the time. Now it’s been so long, I’m not sure I can find my way back.”
Her voice softened. “Renee, don’t give up on yourself and don’t live with regrets. They hurt the most. You’re stuck in the past when you have a wonderful man offering you the future. What more do you want?”
“I want to know for sure. I want to believe that it’s going to be okay.”
“It’s not going to be okay if you just sit on your butt, feeling sorry for yourself. Success is about showing up. You’re running in the other direction.”
“That’s easy for you to say. You don’t know what I’m dealing with.”
Wynn’s expression turned sad. “We’re all dealing with crap from our past. You think you’re the only one? You’re not.”
“She’s right,” Silver said softly. “Look at what I went through with Drew. But I toughed it out and now we’re married and it’s great.”
“Which is fine for you, but you can’t make me do this,” Renee shouted. “I won’t let you. You don’t understand. You can never understand.”
She turned and made her way to her office. As she climbed the stairs, it occurred to her that she was spending a lot of time running from something rather than to something. But being a coward was easy and she wasn’t sure at all that she had what it took to be brave.
* * *
JASPER HADN’T KNOWN what to do about Hanna and Graham’s wedding. Hanna had texted him twice, telling him what time the rehearsal started and inviting him to the Sunday morning brunch. He had already committed to attending the ceremony and reception, but with everything that had happened with Renee, he wasn’t sure if he should go to any of it. Late Friday afternoon, he was still undecided, then figured what the hell. He would handle whatever happened. Renee wasn’t the type to make a scene—not only wasn’t it in her nature, she would never do anything to upset one of her happy couples.
Besides, he had a gift for Hanna and Graham—he was dedicating the book to them for letting him use their wedding as a backdrop for his story.
He unwrapped the pages he’d had mounted on poster board. The first one—the one that mattered most—had two dedications. To R, with love, followed by a paragraph thanking Hanna and Graham. The second one only had the thank-you.
He thought about bringing the first one and letting the truth hang out there. Except there would be questions and those questions would detract from the evening. Besides, he didn’t want to embarrass Renee or make her feel bad. He only wanted to make her happy, to love her, to know they could be together always.
He grabbed the one with the single paragraph, told Koda he wouldn’t be late and walked out to his truck. As he drove down the mountain, he realized he had no idea what was going to happen at the rehearsal and dinner to follow. He missed Renee more today than he had yesterday—which was not comfortable news. At this rate, within a week, being without her would be unbearable. He was already using the breathing techniques he’d learned in his therapy sessions and he was thinking maybe he and Koda should get in the motor home and go somewhere for a couple of months. Being on the road always made him feel better. He could get away from all the Renee-reminders in town and start his next book.
Only he didn’t want to go anywhere. Not without her. He had it so bad, he would rather see her and feel the pain of not having her than be away from her. Which left him in an impossible situation.
He arrived at Weddings Out of the Box a few minutes before the rehearsal was due to start. A quick scan of the parking lot told him that Renee’s car wasn’t there. He knew she and Pallas had divided the duties—with Renee handling the rehearsal