freckles on her nose and cheeks. Her mouth beckoned. He wanted her but more than that, he loved her.
Her smile faded. “Are you okay? You have the strangest expression.”
“I’m fine.”
She didn’t look convinced. She pulled him into the living room and sat next to him on the sofa. Once they were angled toward each other, it occurred to him that it would be so easy to slide to one knee and—
He swore under his breath, thinking he was not ready to propose. Besides, he didn’t have a ring and he hadn’t even told her he loved her. One step at a time, he reminded himself. He didn’t want to screw this up.
“Jasper, you’re scaring me.”
“I don’t mean to.” He looked at her. “Have you talked to your mom? Is she happy?”
Renee looked slightly surprised by the question but she nodded slowly. “She is. She said they both realize things are moving fast, so they’re going to wait several months before setting a date. She sounded so excited and in love. I’m so glad for her.”
“Me, too.”
He continued to watch her. Renee shifted on her seat. “What is going on?”
He had to do it, he told himself. He would just put it out there and see what happened.
Lucille jumped onto the sofa and curled up next to him. He petted the cat, hoping the action would be soothing.
It wasn’t. He sucked in a breath and said, “Renee, I’m in love with you. You are incredible—not just because you’re beautiful, although you are, but because of everything else about you. You’re smart and caring. You’re funny and I want to be with you. I want to make you happy and I hope you want that, too.”
Her eyes widened as she stared at him without speaking.
“You make me a better man,” he continued, wondering when she was going to say something. “I think we work as a couple and—”
“No!” She sprang to her feet and hurried to the far side of the room. “Why are you doing this? We agreed we wouldn’t do this. We talked about it. We have a relationship that we both like but it’s not love. We’re not supposed to be in love. I don’t want you to love me. Love isn’t safe. You have to know that.”
Tears filled her eyes and her voice softened to a whisper. “Don’t, Jasper. Don’t make me do this. Don’t ask for more than I have. I can’t risk it. I just can’t.”
His happiness evaporated as dread took its place. She wasn’t ready. Or she didn’t share his feelings. Either was bad.
“What are you afraid of?” he asked, careful to keep his voice neutral. “Your mom isn’t an issue. Not with me. I’m not going to break your heart or hurt you.”
“Of course you are. That’s what people do. They hurt each other. You’ll hurt me and then you’ll leave. You’re going to leave me and it will be over. I’ll be shattered and damaged for the rest of my life.”
He stood. “I’m not those other guys.”
“It doesn’t matter.” Tears slipped down her cheeks. “You said you wouldn’t do this. What we had was great. Don’t ask me to change.”
“You have to trust me.”
“I can’t.”
“You won’t.”
She brushed away the tears. “Does it really matter which it is? I can’t risk it. I don’t have another broken heart in me.”
She walked into her bedroom and closed the door behind her. Jasper stood there, alone. But I love you. He wanted to shout the words, only he knew they wouldn’t matter. Not to her.
Hell of a thing, he thought as he let himself out and walked back to his truck. Hell of thing.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
JASPER SAT IN his truck for several minutes, not sure what to do, think or feel. Renee’s response had stunned him. He’d certainly been aware of the possibility that she might not share his feelings, but he’d never thought that she would be that upset and simply walk away from him. Funny how he’d been so worried about healing from his own past, he’d never considered that she might not be over hers.
He wanted to do something, but what? There weren’t words to convince her that everything was going to be fine. How could there be? Life was always a crapshoot. If only he didn’t already miss her.
His phone buzzed with a text. He grabbed it, hoping it was Renee. But instead the message was from Drew.
San Francisco is kicking the Rams’s collective asses my friend. You’re going to owe me $20.