lived in the same city I did, but he’d said in so many words that he was hardly ever there. I also knew that he didn’t really do the relationship thing. So there I was, ostensibly on my honeymoon, crushing on my fake husband who I had no chance of ever having anything real with. The whole situation was so absurd that I would’ve laughed if I wasn’t so close to tears.
A handicraft store at the end of the market near the railroad boasted a coffee shop, and I darted inside and ordered the biggest Americano they had. I had to get the pitiful weepiness out of the way and out of my system before I went back to the hotel.
Just because I’d wanted to spend some time by myself today didn’t mean I wasn’t planning on spending the night with Jaxon. It was our last night together—probably ever—and a herd of wild horses couldn’t drag me away.
I wasn’t in such a state that I didn’t recognize I needed to talk to him about all this, at least hear his thoughts on staying in touch, but that required me having a handle on what I felt all this was. Which I didn’t.
A friendly barista delivered my coffee to the table I’d chosen near the edge of the property and the river, and I stared off into the middle distance before I realized I was getting nowhere. No matter which way I sliced it, I just kept coming up with the same two conclusions.
The first was that I had a major crush on my fake husband and I’d like to see where it goes, and the second was that I knew for a fact he wouldn’t be interested. If there was anything I’d learned from this week though, it was that taking unplanned risks could lead to the most treasured experiences I could ever have.
But before I marched back into the bungalow, sat him down, and confessed that my feelings were more on the real side of the spectrum now, I needed to talk to Ember. My voice of reason had never steered me wrong. Without her, I wouldn’t even have met Jaxon to begin with because I’d never have come here if she hadn’t encouraged me to do it.
Fiji was seventeen hours ahead of Houston, so I checked the time on my phone to ensure I wouldn’t be waking her up with my drama. Nope. All good. It’s still yesterday afternoon there.
Her voice was chirpy and cheerful when she answered my call. “The prodigal bestie has finally found a moment to speak to me, huh? I’m honored you’d take time away from your hottie so I can actually hear your voice for a change. Unless it’s been him texting me all along because he ended up being a serial killer, and Jaxon wearing Lindsay’s skin is on the other end of this call. In which case, prepare to lose your dick, mister.”
“That’s a weirdly specific threat.” I laughed when her rambling greeting ending. “And no, it’s not Jaxon wearing my skin. It’s really me. Total false alarm on the whole serial killer thing.”
“That’s what I wanted to hear,” she said excitedly. “Tell me everything. All I know is that you’re okay, spending time with the hot husband you still haven’t even sent me a pic of, and that we’ll talk about it all later. Texts suck. I can’t wait to see you in person.”
“Yeah, me either.” It was true. I really missed my friend, and having her sitting across from me while I worked all this out would’ve been the best thing ever. “I’ll be home soon, though. You’re still picking me up from the airport, right?”
“Of course. I’ve got that printout of your ticket stuck up on my fridge. You can bet your sexy ass I’ll be there.”
“Thanks,” I said but my voice sounded strained even to my own ears. The pickup we were talking about was rushing at me way too fast, and it felt like I still had too much to get through before I left. It was really only one conversation, but it was one that had the power to make me feel like utter shit.
Unreciprocated crushes are the worst.
Ember obviously noticed my tone, and all the bouncy excitement disappeared from hers. “What did he do? I was being serious about cutting off his dangly bits if he hurt you.”
“He didn’t hurt me.” Not intentionally anyway. “I might’ve just gotten a touch too attached to him.”