I felt her pain all the way down to my bones. There were so many people just like her brother that I’d served with. People who had no more ties to their families and thought it was better like that.
Since I’d always been so close to my mother, I’d never been able to understand it. I always felt for them, though. Not pity but the same immense sadness I felt coming from her now.
I didn’t know what I would’ve done without Mom in my corner. I hoped I didn’t ever have to find out. That only compounded the grief I’d felt whenever I’d heard a story like hers, though.
Fuck knows how you survive without family support.
Lindsay swiped her fingers underneath her eyes. “That’s enough of my sob story. What are you going to do today?”
“I don’t know. It’s your day. I figured we’d hang out together again. What’s on the cards for us, Cruise Director Flinn?”
She laughed but it didn’t quite sound genuine. “I’d actually planned a wrap-up day. Do all the things I hadn’t gotten around to doing. I’ve ditched that idea, though. I’m going shopping for some clothes instead.”
“What me to come?” I asked, even though I couldn’t think of anything worse than spending possibly my last day here shopping.
“I’m okay,” she said, giving my hand a final hug before freeing hers to finish her breakfast. “Enjoy yourself. I’m sure we could both use some time to decompress before we head back home.”
I hadn’t known her for very long, but that cloudy gleam never left her eyes as she gathered her things and headed out. It clued me in to the fact that she wanted alone time because the vacation was coming to an end, considering she’d been sad about that since coming back from the dining area, but it was also about her brother.
Having already asked her about him, I didn’t push the subject any further. I didn’t even know the dude’s name, but digging deeper would only bring her unnecessary pain to appease my own curiosity. It wasn’t right.
She didn’t want me finding out about him anyway, so it really didn’t make a lick of difference who he was. It killed me to see her hurting so much over him, but I’d extended the offer.
If she ever wanted to take me up on it, she could. For now, I simply kissed her goodbye before she left and then I went down to the beach.
I didn’t want to leave without scuba diving, and snorkeling with the sharks didn’t really count as that. I knew there was a dive operator on the premises, and I was itching to get wet before my time on the island was done.
Setting my thoughts and worries about Lindsay aside, I headed out to do just that. Make the most of every moment, right?
Even the ones that would feel kind of empty now with the Lindsay-shaped hole she’d left at my side.
Chapter 21
LINDSAY
The town closest to the resort was situated on the banks of the river after which it had been named. Jaxon and I had done some exploring there before, and I was sorely aware of his absence now.
I wandered around the market selling fresh produce, tropical fruits and vegetables, freshwater mussels, and a whole variety of other things. When I’d told Jaxon I wanted to go shopping for clothes, I hadn’t been completely honest.
It was true that I did want to pick up some of the locally made textiles and maybe another T-shirt or two as souvenirs, but I really just needed some time to myself. A bustling market was a strange place to come to so I could be alone, but it allowed me to do some window shopping for trinkets and to get lost in the crowd.
What I couldn’t tell Jaxon, nor let him in on, was that I felt miserable over the prospect of having to leave. Talking about my brother this morning had simply made it a little bit worse. I wasn’t sorry Jaxon had asked me about him. I’d meant it when I said he wasn’t a deep, dark secret. My heart just ached whenever I thought about all the good times we used to have together.
It was an ache I was used to, however. The other ache which was much more intense and completely unfamiliar came whenever I thought about the fact that in less than twenty-four hours, I’d be on my way home.