A Mate for Lu - Amy Bellows Page 0,37
as I drive him back to the summer quarters. He did research on memories in children when she was born and chose a lamb tattoo, because it would be an image paired with a song related to her name, and the most likely to stick in her head. He was terrified she wouldn’t remember him because he was only allowed to come back to Anchorage twice a year.
He wanted to be in her life so badly.
“How’s my favorite brother?” Axe asks.
“I’m good,” I lie.
If only I could tell him what was actually going on. It would be nice to have someone to talk to.
I park next to Cy’s car in the jewelry store parking lot. Axe’s eyes linger on Cy’s car for a moment before he unlatches Mary’s car seat and lifts her into his huge arms.
“You and I need some snuggle time,” he tells her.
She grins back at him. “Akie bear! Akie bear!”
“That’s right, sweet pea. We can cuddle as bears. I need to see how big you’ve grown.”
I unlock the front door, and Axe carries Mary inside. It’s easier to deal with the nausea when Axe is doing all of the bending and carrying with Mary. At least there’s that.
After Axe leaves, I’ll have to deal with this by myself. Unless Sam suddenly gets the courage to be open about our relationship.
I shouldn’t get my hopes up. That’s never going to happen.
My phone buzzes. I pull it out of my pocket to see an unknown number from New York.
Most publishing companies are in New York.
“Hello?”
“Hello, this is Ryan Sheffield from HarperCollins.”
My stomach is already churning, but that takes me over the edge. I force myself to swallow instead of retch. HarperCollins is calling me? What does that mean?
Axe helps Mary out of her clothes, with the exception of her diaper, so she can take her bear form. Mary’s cloth diapers have elastic on the legs and waist to accommodate her when she shifts.
Axe does a family shift—removing his shirt first and putting a blanket over his lower body while he takes off his jeans and expands into his bear form. Axe’s bear reminds me of roaming around at the summer folly and cuddling in the snow when we hiked too far out from our campsite for our fathers to catch up. Seeing Axe’s bear form feels like home.
“Hello, Ryan. It’s nice to hear from you,” I say as calmly as I can.
Axe rolls onto his back and sets Mary on his big, white belly.
“Your agent sent your portfolio along earlier this week. I’m impressed. I think you’d be a great addition to our team. I just had an illustrator drop a new counting series we want to release next year. I’m not going to lie to you. The turn-around time for this is fast, and the pay is entry level. But it would be a good resume builder, if you’re interested.”
A whole series? And they want me as the illustrator? It seems too good to be true.
“Great. I mean, how much is the pay? Is it okay for me to ask that?”
Ryan laughs. “Yes. That’s perfectly fine. I’m going to email you an official offer, I just wanted to call and give it to you a little more informally first. We don’t hire illustrators very often, so this is exciting.”
The implication is clear. If I turn this down, I probably won’t get another chance.
Will I be able to finish the artwork on a tight turn-around time while pregnant?
Pregnant. It’s the first time that I’ve allowed myself to properly think about it. I’m pregnant. And with an alpha who hasn’t committed to me openly.
“I’m excited to look over the contract. Thank you so much. I really appreciate this opportunity,” I say.
“Thank you. It really is a joy to be able to sign with a new illustrator. I hope to hear from you soon.”
As I get off the phone, I don’t know how to react. I should be excited. I’ve wanted to be an illustrator for as long as I can remember. But the situation with Sam and the pregnancy dulls the joy I should be feeling.
Isn’t that how it always is? I’m always chasing after alphas who don’t want to be with me as much as I want to be with them. Sam is the same. I love him, but if I’m being honest with myself, he can’t give me the kind of relationship I want.
It might be time to accept that an alpha is never going to give