A Mate for Lu - Amy Bellows Page 0,36

tell me whatever is going on right now. I’m your safe space.”

Their eyes fill with tears. “It’s just… I’m not an alpha, Dad. Even people at school can see it. I know the test said I was. But I’m not. I’m really, really not.”

That’s so far from what I was expecting that I don’t know what to say. Jesse covers their face with their hands, and their shoulders shake with sobs.

Everything makes sense now. Their reticence to plan a gender reveal party, their disdain for Pebble Gifting Season. Even the food problems. Secondary gender characteristics are onset with puberty. Jesse’s body hasn’t started changing yet. Maybe they thought they could delay the changes for a while.

My kid is trans. Jesse’s not an alpha. That will take some getting used to. I’ve read about transgender people on the news, but I’ve never known anyone who was trans. I hope I can give Jesse the support they need. If only they had told me sooner. They shouldn’t have to deal with this alone.

“I love you, Jess. Your secondary gender doesn’t impact that at all.”

Their sobs slow for a moment. “But Dad, you don’t understand. I don’t want to be revealed as an alpha.”

“Okay,” I say. “What is it that you want?”

They pause, then say, “I’m an omega.”

“Is that what you’d like to be revealed as?”

“Won’t people find out when I start changing?”

“We’ll get an appointment with a doctor and see what our options are in regards to hormone blockers, okay?”

I don’t know much about hormone therapy, but I do know there’s medication that will delay those changes until Jesse’s old enough to make permanent decisions about their body.

Jesse’s lips tremble. “The Eternal Ice. Some people say…”

“Those people don’t matter, Jess. The Eternal Ice would want you to be yourself.”

I think that’s true. It has to be. But even if it isn’t, would I want to worship a deity that created my kid, only to tell them that an integral part of themselves is wrong?

Either way, I’m with Jesse.

“Let’s go home, okay?”

Jesse smiles. “Okay.”

“This doesn’t mean you’re off the hook for getting in a fight, though.”

As I start up the car, I remember Lu. I offered to take care of him. How am I going to do that and also be the father Jesse needs right now?

What if I can’t do both?

23

Lu

I have to pick up Axe from the airport.

Normally, I’m happy to see my brother. But the nausea I hoped was just nerves hasn’t gone away, it’s gotten worse.

Axe nearly killed Mary’s alpha father when he left me. I’m not ready to tell him that I’m pregnant again. I haven’t even told Sam yet.

I’m afraid of what he’ll say.

There are so many things that could go wrong this weekend. Axe could see me vomiting and guess it’s more than the stomach flu. Sam could show up unexpectedly. At the very least, Sam is going to ask why he can’t stay over on Saturday. How do I say, “Because my brother might literally kill you,” without freaking Sam out?

Somehow, I have to hide my morning sickness from my brother and hide my brother from my mate all weekend. I just haven’t figured out how.

Armed with a barf bag, I strap Mary into her car seat and head to Anchorage’s international airport. On the way there, Sam texts me some apology for not being able to come over to take care of me.

I push down the hurt and remind myself that Sam can’t come over anyway.

Axe is waiting at the last station of the airport pick-up area in a leather jacket and holey jeans. I can’t help but feel relieved as his huge frame turns in our direction and a smile spreads across his face.

When I was growing up, Axe was the gentle giant who always took care of me. When our alpha father would harp on me for my “silly drawings,” Axe secretly slipped me new sketchbooks. And when our omega father pressured me to go skating or running with him to maintain my figure, Axe tagged along to encourage me.

He climbs into the back seat of the car and pulls down his shirt to show Mary the lamb he had tattooed onto his chest for her.

She presses her tiny hand to the tattoo. “Akie.”

“That’s right, sweet pea. You remember.” He leans in to kiss her forehead.

“It’s Axel, Mary. Axel.”

Axe shakes his head. “Let her call me whatever she wants.”

“Song! Song!” Mary chants.

Axe sings a quiet version of “Mary Had a Little Lamb”