until she disappeared into the bathroom. She was adorable. Adorable? I shook the thought away. She was a walking disaster. The waiter came over to ask for our order, but I sent him away. After all that, Ash hadn’t even told me what she wanted.
I looked at my watch. Ordered another drink. Started fidgeting in my seat. What the hell was she doing in there? She’d been gone for over ten minutes.
I pulled out my phone and sent Penny a text. “Who the hell is this person?”
Penny’s reply came almost immediately. “Isn’t she cute? And she’s exactly what you’re looking for!”
I wasn’t sure why she was so sure about that. “How is she exactly what I’m looking for?”
“You described your ideal girl, and I found her for you. You’re welcome. Are you being nice?”
“Yes, I’m being nice.”
“Good. Now stop texting during your date. It’s rude.”
I ran my hand down my face. And waited a few more minutes. Had Ash left? I pictured her climbing out of the window and running away. Honestly, it seemed exactly like something this Ash person would do. I just didn’t know whether to check the restroom or the alleyway first.
Chapter 16
Saturday
After a few more minutes passed without Ash returning, I threw my napkin down on the table and went toward the restrooms. It was better to check there first. If she was planning a great escape, she was probably already gone. There was no reason to look outside for her. But if she was stuck in a stall or something and needed help? It was at least polite to check. “Ash?” I said and knocked on the door to the women’s restroom.
No response.
“Ash?” I said a little louder.
No response.
For fuck’s sake. Did she really ditch me? I opened up the door just to check and saw Ash standing in the middle of the restroom with her sweatshirt off. Just standing in a public restroom with nothing on but a bra and her jeans. She was trying to dry the sweatshirt underneath the hand drier, while at the same time blotting it with paper towels.
“No, he’s gorgeous!” Ash said to no one at all.
She talks to herself too?
“Why didn’t you tell me he was gorgeous?!” Ash practically cried as she hit the hand drier button again.
“Then stop hiding in the bathroom and get out there!” said someone else.
I looked over to see where the other voice had come from. Ash’s phone was balancing precariously on the edge of the sink. I’m assuming this was her friend Chastity encouraging her through the speaker.
“I can’t go back out there! I look like a homeless person!”
I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face.
“I’m sure you don’t look homeless,” replied Chastity.
“I do. I’m wearing my binge-watching sweatshirt.”
“You are not,” gasped Chastity. “I told you to dress up! What is wrong with you?!”
“I don’t know!” Ash blotted the pit stains with more paper towels. “Seriously though, who is this guy, Chastity? He looks like he walked out of the pages of a magazine! You told me he wasn’t going to be cute. That this was just a practice run for getting back out there. You’re a dirty liar! Because he’s the definition of perfection and now he thinks I have some sort of explosive diarrhea because I’ve been in here for...”
“Fourteen minutes,” offered her friend. “He definitely thinks you shat your pants.”
“No!” Ash said and slammed her fist against the hand drier again. “Chastity, tell me how I can undo this?”
I cleared my throat.
Ash’s eyes grew round when she saw me. She slapped her phone off the counter instead of simply ending the call. Then for some reason she threw the sweatshirt on the ground like it was contraband. And then she yelped and put her hands directly onto her breasts to hide her bra.
I burst out laughing. I couldn’t help it.
For a second I thought she was going to cry. Or scream. Instead she started laughing too. “This is the worst date in the history of dates,” she said, half sobbing through her laughter.
I couldn’t deny that fact. “It’s not off to a great start.”
“God, what is wrong with me? I’m half naked in a public restroom. I should be arrested.”
“Your secret is safe with me. How about you put your sweatshirt back on and meet me back out there?”
She laughed again. “Are you serious? You’re not going to report me?”
“I’m not going to report you. But I might report this place for pests. Did you just see