at the hostess stand. Tamara had been staring, but she quickly looked away.
“But it’s fine, you can just choose for me,” Ash said and pointed at my menu.
“You want me to pick what meal you’re having?”
“Yeah, sure.”
“But I don’t know anything that you like. Or if you’re a vegetarian or a vegan. Or what is it when you only eat fish?”
She laughed. “I don’t think that’s a thing. And I’m just a normal person.”
I really wasn’t sure about that. “What about allergies? Do you have any allergies?”
“No. Just order me something a normal person would order and I’ll be happy.”
Where did Penny find this chick? “Here, just look at the menu,” I said, trying to hand it to her.
At first she pushed it back, but she finally conceded. As she looked over the menu, an awkward silence enveloped the table.
I could have easily stopped it. I was quite good at small talk. But it was fun watching her literally squirm. It was like silence was driving her bonkers. Even though I was pretty sure she was crazy already.
The silence kept stretching until it looked like Ash was about to explode.
“Wow this place is fancy,” she finally said and closed the menu. “I don’t usually eat in places with tablecloths.”
“Mhm.”
She stared at me like she couldn’t believe that was the only thing I had to say. “I wish someone had told me it was fancy.”
“Didn’t you pick the place?” I asked. Was that what Penny had said? Or had Penny picked this place while pretending to be me?
“Oh. Um. No. Well, maybe it was my fault. I have a confession too and if I don’t tell you I’m going to start acting weird.”
She hadn’t started acting weird yet? Good God.
“My best friend Chastity made my dating profile. I told her not to. Actually, I begged her not to. But she insisted and…she was on the thing just as much as I was because she had access to my password. She intercepted several of the messages.”
I laughed. “You just gave me shit for my friend talking to you. When she was really probably just talking to your friend.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I was just surprised and I have no idea why my first instinct was to lie. But it was and here we are. Getting caught in a lie is on my list of fears too. So it’s better to just get ahead of it, don’t you think? Besides, it was me on the app half the time. And I saw all the messages. So it was kind of like it was me. Since I observed all of it after the fact.”
“Right.”
“Exactly.” She smiled.
This girl was so strange.
“But the restaurant was Chastity’s idea. In her defense, she told me to dress up. But she dresses up for everything so I thought she was kind of overstating it. But apparently she wasn’t. I would have looked it up ahead of time, but she told me I was being paranoid and that it would be more fun to just go in blind, you know? Since it was kind of already a blind date since your profile was weirdly a cup of tea. I kind of thought you’d look like a monster. But you’re not at all what I expected. And I’m super underdressed.”
I was pretty sure there was a compliment in there somewhere. “I actually really like the sneakers.”
She smiled. “Really?”
I nodded.
“Thank you.”
“So now that I know that you’re underdressed, why don’t you go ahead and take your jacket off before you faint?”
“I’m wearing an old sweatshirt and jeans. And I ran miles to get here. So now I’m not only underdressed, but I’m super sweaty too. Just for the record, I had on a nicer shirt. But I spilled coffee all over it just when I was about to walk out the door for our date. And it’s laundry day. And this sweatshirt happens to be really comfy.”
I laughed. “It’s fine. Take it off before we have to call an ambulance.”
She laughed too and finally pulled off her jacket. It was indeed an old sweatshirt. There was even a hole on one of the elbows. But I was most distracted by the huge sweat stains under her arms. The light gray sweatshirt did nothing to hide them. If anything, it accentuated them.
“Oh God,” she said. “I need to use the restroom. I’ll be right back.” She got up and ran, almost knocking into another waiter.