Mari's Mistake - Ruby Dixon Page 0,42

know?"

"You chose what you thought was right." She rubs a soothing hand on my shoulders. "Vuh-ron-ca did, as well. You did not know you chose wrong."

I flinch. I don't think Farli meant it like that, but she's right. I didn't know it was going to turn out like this, or maybe I would have rolled the dice. Actually…no, I wouldn't have. My sex life with my mate isn't worth chancing his death. "And now that it's turned off, Veronica can't turn it back on. She's tried and tried, but my cootie just ignores her."

"A khui is a strong-minded thing," Farli says gently. "And Vuh-ron-ca is young in her powers. Maylak took many turns of the seasons before she felt strong in her abilities. Your human healer will grow stronger with her abilities. Give it time."

Maybe she's right. Maybe I just need to give Veronica time. There's no sense in me pestering her constantly about it. It just makes us both feel awful, and then Veronica cries, and then I spend my time comforting her when really, I want someone to comfort me. I swipe at the tears on my face, letting out a shuddery sigh. "My khui has changed, though, Farli. It…doesn't like T'chai's anymore. Not only does it not sing to him, but…when he touches me, it feels…wrong." I shiver. "Bad. Like my khui's telling me no." I hesitate. "It makes things difficult between us."

Difficult? I should have said “impossible.” It's impossible to like sex when every touch your mate gives you feels like it's making your skin crawl. When you can't get aroused no matter what you do because your khui doesn't like it.

And your mate isn't affected the same way for some stupid reason. It's not fair, and it makes things worse. He wants me. He wants to kiss me and hold me and touch me and make love, and every time he reaches for me, my body acts like it wants to vomit.

It's a nightmare.

"You cannot take pleasure in a mating?" Farli asks, shocked. "Truly?"

Well now I feel like even more of a freak. I can't wait for her to leave so I can crawl under the table after all. "Yes," I say in a small voice. "No matter what we do."

She thinks for a moment. "Perhaps…herbs? My mother has herbs that she uses. It is good for mating when the cunt is too dry for pleasure. If you chew it, it makes the cunt soft and wet. Mother says it does the trick."

I pull away from her, blinking. "Your mom told you about this?"

Farli looks surprised. "Of course. My mother still mates with my father. Do you think the elderly do not mate?" She laughs. "I have seen them in the furs. They are still quite vigorous!"

We are now officially in a super oversharing zone…but it's an idea. "An herb, you say?"

"To get your cunt good and slippery," she agrees with an emphatic nod.

I'm willing to try anything to get past this weird dislike my body now has of T'chai. "How do I get this herb?"

"I am certain the healer has some. It is also good for headaches." She giggles, as if the thought strikes her as funny. "I wonder if the two are related."

I manage a small smile.

Farli goes and retrieves the herbs for me while I wait in the Ravenclaw cave. I give her the excuse that I've already bugged Veronica once this day—which is true—but the truth is, I need to hide my crying. If T'chai sees that I've been weeping, it's going to hurt him.

And I hurt him enough as it is.

So I brush sand and salt off of tiny alien components while I wait for Farli to return and for my puffy eyes to dry. She comes back a short time later with a wide smile on her face and a pouch in her hand. "Success!" She leans in and winks at me in an exaggerated fashion. "And do not worry. I told Veronica my cunt was feeling scratchy. She asked no questions."

Poor Veronica. I can only imagine the look on her face. I giggle and give Farli a smile. "Thank you." I touch my cheeks. "Are my eyes still red?"

She pats my arm. "Your eyes are blue. Khui blue."

Right. I always forget that shit.

We leave the cave together, and I tuck the packet of herbs into my leather breast-band under my tunic. Outside, they're still setting up on the beach, and it makes me wonder what's taking so long.