and who I share them with.
Once I’m home, I change into my oldest t-shirt, wash my face, and brush my teeth. I climb under the covers with a defeated sigh. I wish life came with a reset button so I could go back one day. If I had told Adam about the reports yesterday, he’d be lying here with me. I’d be in his arms and all would be right with the world.
My stomach clenches as I get closer to the bathroom. I don’t hear the sound of any tools. Reaching the doorway, I peer inside. There’s no sign of Adam at all, not that I thought there would be. His tools aren’t even here. He finished the renovation, but I wish he hadn’t. Then he’d be forced to see me. Fuck. I feel horrible. Knowing that he’s hurting is painful for me. I really wanted to talk things through this morning, but that’s obviously not happening. He wouldn’t answer his phone when I called and texted. I even tried emailing him as a last resort.
Coming in here was my way of feeling closer to him. I can see him working on the various parts of this bathroom. I picture him smiling his special smile at me. I’d give anything to see it aimed at me right now.
Pinching the bridge of my nose, I try to stop the tears that want to come. I head toward the stairs. Maybe stomping up the flights will work out some of my sadness.
“Hey, hey, boss lady. How was the party?” Lisa asks when I enter Manfax. “You’re later than usual, so I take it you imbibed a little too much?” She arches her brow.
I keep moving, and she follows me into my office. “It was horrible, and I don’t want to talk about it.” I’m shutting this conversation down. I’m not interested in rehashing the details again. As it is, I lay awake most of the night winding myself up until my stomach was fastened into an anxious knot.
“Okay. I put that report you wanted on your desk. You’ve got appointments for most of the afternoon. Give me a shout if you need anything else.” She exits quickly. Smart lady. No one should have to be around me today. I don’t even want to spend time with me.
I fall into my chair with a grunt. Crossing my arms on my desk, I lower my head to them with a groan. My day is just beginning and I already want it to be over. Climbing back into my bed in a dark room sounds better than facing this day and admitting my relationship has been annihilated by my own hand.
Busting myself, I work for a couple of hours before picking up my phone. I dial Adam’s number and pray he’ll answer. Unfortunately, my prayers go unanswered, but I leave another message for him to call me. I also send a text asking for the same. Are you noticing a pattern here? Me too.
I slug through the rest of the day, barely hanging on until my final appointment with potential clients is complete. Once the clients leave, I grab my purse and phone. Many nights I work late, but this will not be one of them. It’s time to get out of here.
I pause in front of Lisa’s desk. “I’m sorry for my shit mood today. I don’t want you to think it has anything to do with you.”
She shakes her head, bouncing her corkscrew curls. “I didn’t think it did. You love me.”
“I do.” I smile genuinely for the first time today. “I’m leaving. Why don’t you close up and do the same.”
“I want to finish this up”—she points to some papers on her desk—“then I’ll head home. Don’t worry. Tomorrow will be a better day.”
“Goodnight.”
On the way out, I check the bathroom again to see if Adam’s around. He’s not. And there’s no sign that he was here at all.
On the way home, I decide to take a shortcut and head to Adam’s. The shortcut adds twenty minutes onto my ride and is all for nothing. His truck’s not in the driveway, and there are no lights on. Where could he be?
Picking up my phone, I send Dani a text.
Me: Hey, I’m trying to get a hold of Adam and I can’t find him. He hasn’t answered any of my texts or calls and I’m worried about him. Do you know where he is?
I send the message, remaining in my car in case