a cheesy wink. Seriously, I was starting to hate all the people in my industry. Maybe Liz had a point. Urvi was trying to work efficiently but it was obvious her coordination was off.
“Hey,” I started and Urvi glanced at me with a small frown before looking away. “Look, are you okay? You’re not looking so great.”
“Thank you so much for the compliment,” she muttered, pouring the finished drink into a long stemmed glass and then reaching for it, but the tremor in her hand meant that her grip on the stem faltered and the sticky concoction tipped straight over the bar and down onto the other man’s suit.
“What the fuck?” he spat out, jumping off the bar stool and looking down at himself like he’d been covered in acid. “You dumb fucking bitch. This suit cost over ten grand. It’s ruined.”
“I’m so sorry,” she breathed in horror. “I’ll pay for it to be – ”
“The dry-cleaning bill would probably be more than your rent for a month, you ignorant little parasite.” His face was an unattractive shade of puce now and he was pointing his finger at her across the bar. “Where’s your boss? Does he know what an incompetent waste of space you are?” I saw her eyes flick over to the kitchen door as she bit her lip and rubbed her temple, as if willing some sort of pain to go away.
“Listen micro-dick,” a small redhead with pink-streaked hair was standing next to Urvi now, her furious gaze locked onto the angry bloke. “Tone it the fuck down or I’ll scoop out your testicles with a spoon and eat them as an amuse-bouche. Don’t think I won’t be able to do it. I’m a medical student so I know all the anaesthetic agents to use. I could put you under like that.” She clicked her fingers and the man next to me flinched. “Then it’s coq au vin for me and no future children for you.”
“You . . . I . . . I can’t believe this. How dare you – ”
“Get off my boat,” I told him in a low voice and he blinked then looked in my direction. I might not have known who he was but he sure as fuck knew who I was.
“Mr Bailey, I was just – “
“Get. Off. My. Boat.”
The idiot realised at this point that most of the party was watching him. His eyes darted left and right and then he forced a fake smile at me with an insincere chuckle.
“Come on, mate,” he said, all joviality now. “It was just a bit of bants. I’m the one with passion fruit juice soaking through into my crotch.
“You’ve been coming on to my wait staff all evening. They are not here for your entertainment, you sleazy prick. And then you dare to shout at one of them for a genuine mistake.” I lowered my voice and took a step towards him. “You can tell a lot about a man by how he treats those with less power than him at any given moment. Your little display tells me that you are a worthless piece of shit and I don’t want you on my boat.”
His smile dropped. He directed a quick scowl at Urvi and the pink-haired girl before he spun on his heel and stalked out of the room. I tilted my head towards my PA and he also strode from the room to make sure the prick actually left.
“Nothing to see here folks,” pink-haired girl shouted. “Continue making your boring chat and sucking down your sickly cocktails. Just another fight in Arsehole Land.” There was a shocked silence followed by a few ripples of laughter before the “boring chat” recommenced and the room went back to normal.
I looked back at Urvi. Her face had paled and she had to steady herself on the bar for a moment.
“Urvi’s taking a break,” I told pink-haired girl. “You’re taking over from her at the bar.”
“Ya, meine führur,” the girl said as she started preparing another cocktail. I moved round the bar and took Urvi’s arm by the elbow to lead her away but she shook off my grip.
“Please,” I said, my voice feeling strained. “I really think you need to come and sit down. Eat something.” I swept my arm out for her to precede me and she sighed but moved forward towards the other side of the boat. As I followed her through the dining room I grabbed a muffin out of