one who was in a coma. Why can’t you see it?’
‘Because I know Chris. And because I was there.’
‘You didn’t see the accident though. You were in the cafe. Chris and I were having a race. We allowed things to get out of hand. We were being stupid, getting over competitive. Chris was pissed off that I beat him, of course, and he braked the second he crossed the line, causing the driver behind him to swerve into me. Chris shouldn’t have braked so suddenly – he knows that. But Jamie, you have to believe me – it was an accident.’ He clapped his hand on Jamie’s shoulder. ‘An accident. That’s it.’
Jamie opened his mouth to speak, to protest, but seeing Paul staring at him, a broad smile on his face, he fell silent. He felt so confused. He hadn’t seen Paul since that day in the hospital when Paul had been so nasty to him. His friend had been so cold that day, but now, with that smile on his face and that light in his eye, he seemed like the old Paul. A voice in Jamie’s head was screaming that Paul was wrong – that it hadn’t been an accident – but he was so pleased to see Paul smiling again, up and about and acting like himself again, that he didn’t argue. ‘Are you feeling better?’ Jamie asked. His voice was hushed and he became aware that he was holding his breath.
Paul nodded, his hand still on Jamie’s shoulder. ‘I feel great, actually. Better than ever. I feel, y’know, reborn, clean. I’ve had loads of time to get my head together and, God, I’m really sorry I was such a bastard in the hospital. I felt trapped and I was finding it difficult to cope. The frustration of lying there, unable to get out because my muscles were too weak – it was unbearable. And the constant stream of sympathy. It was too much. Everybody treated me as if I was some kind of crippled Lazarus. How was I supposed to react?’
‘Well, you reacted like a complete bastard.’
They both laughed.
Paul pulled a face. ‘I guess I had a bit of brain damage.’
‘What? Impossible! There’s nothing there to damage.’
They laughed more, still standing there at the top of the Newtons’ steps. Paul looked serious for a second. ‘I do feel different though, Jamie. And, well, there’s something I’ve decided to do. Something I need to talk to you about. I was going to call on you after I’d been to see Chris. In fact – just in case you feel second-best and get all sensitive – I did call on you first but you were out.’
‘OK. Let’s go inside.’
As Jamie took his keys out of his pocket, he heard the door slam at the bottom of the steps. He jumped, then went rigid. Footfall sounded on the steps and, before he could react, Chris appeared.
‘Alright mate,’ Paul said to Chris.
Chris smiled at him, ‘Haven’t you cleared off yet?’ Then he turned to Jamie. ‘Hello Jamie.’
Jamie’s heart was beating so fast and loud it almost drowned out Chris’s voice. It was the first time Chris had spoken to him for a long time. He expected to feel hatred. He had fantasised about hurting this man, about doing him damage. But instead of hatred or anger, he felt fear, and confusion. Most of all, confusion.
‘Hi,’ he managed to croak.
‘You alright?’ He was talking to him as if nothing bad had ever passed between them. As if there had been no letters or CDs; no threats; no virus. As if they were simply neighbours who exchanged a friendly hello whenever their paths crossed.
‘I’m–’ Jamie broke off, unable to speak.
‘You don’t look too good, mate,’ Chris said, and he stretched out his hand to touch Jamie’s arm.
Jamie leapt backwards as if a bullet had torn into him. Chris and Paul both looked shocked. Jamie instantly felt ridiculous, foolish. He tried to compose himself. He stood up straight, coughed, ran a hand through his hair.
‘I’m fine,’ he said.
Chris gave him a strange look – the kind of look you might give to a patient in a mental hospital; a potentially dangerous patient who you didn’t want to upset. ‘Good. That’s good.’ He turned to Paul. ‘Anyway, I must get on. Got that business meeting to attend. Good luck and all that.’
‘Thanks.’
They shook hands, then Chris walked off and got into his car.
Paul turned back to Jamie, who was shaking as if he’d been