that one up with, “What the fuck are you talking about?” Instead, all he could do was stare at the guy.
“She’s not where you think she is,” the angel murmured.
Through a dry mouth, he managed, “You’re saying she’s in hell? Because that’s the only other option.”
“No, it isn’t.”
Tohr took a deep breath. “My shellan was a female of worth, and she’s in the Fade—there’s no reason to think she’d be in Dhund. As for myself, I’m through with jumping down people’s throats tonight. So I’m going to walk out that door over there”—he pointed in the direction of the anteroom just to be helpful—“and you’re going to let me go. Because I’m not in the mood for this.”
Turning away, he started hobbling, using that single crutch No’One had brought in.
“You’re pretty goddamn sure of something you don’t know shit about.”
Tohr stopped. Closed his eyes again. Sent up a prayer for an emotion, any emotion, other than the urge to kill.
No luck.
He glanced over his shoulder. “You’re an angel, right. So you’re supposed to be compassionate. I just accused a female who was raped until impregnated of being a whore. Do you honestly think I can handle being circle jerked about my shellan right now?”
“There are three places in the afterlife. The Fade, where loved ones are reunited. Dhund, where the unjust go. And the In Between—”
“Did you hear what I just said?”
“—which is where souls get stuck. It’s not like the other two—”
“Do you care?”
“—because the In Between is different for everybody. Right now, your shellan and your young are stuck because of you. That’s why I’ve come—I’m here to help you, help them get where they belong.”
Man, this was a fine time to have a fucked-up foot, Tohr thought, because he suddenly had no sense of balance whatsoever. Either that or the training center was spinning on the axis of the house.
“I don’t understand,” he whispered.
“You’ve got to move on, my man. Stop holding on to her so she can go—”
“There is no purgatory, if that’s what you’re suggesting—”
“Where the fuck do you think I came from?”
Tohr cocked a brow. “You really want me to answer that.”
“Not funny. And I’m serious.”
“No, you’re lying—”
“You ever wonder how I found you in those woods? Why I’ve stuck around? Have you asked yourself for a moment why I’m wasting time on you? Your shellan and your son are trapped and I was sent here to get them free.”
“Son?” Tohr breathed.
“Yeah, she was carrying a little boy.”
Tohr’s legs went out from underneath him at that point—fortunately, the angel jumped forward and caught him before he broke something.
“Come here.” Lassiter maneuvered him over toward the bench. “Park it and put your head between your knees—your color’s gone to hell.”
For once, Tohr didn’t put up a fight; he let his ass go down and allowed himself to get pretzeled by the angel. As he opened his mouth and tried to breathe, he noticed for no good reason that the tiles on the floor weren’t a solid aqua blue, but had multicolored specks in them of white and gray and navy.
As a big hand started making circles on his back, he was strangely comforted.
“A son…” Tohr lifted his head a little and swept his palm down his face. “I wanted a son.”
“So did she.”
He looked over sharply. “She never told me that.”
“She kept quiet because she didn’t want you to get all fat-chested about having two males in the house.”
Tohr laughed. Or maybe it was a sob. “She would so do that.”
“Yeah.”
“So you’ve seen her.”
“Yeah. She’s not doing well, Tohr.”
Abruptly, he felt like … “I’m going to be sick.” Which was better than crying. “Purgatory?”
“The In Between. And there’s a reason that no one knows about it. If you get out, you’re in the Fade—or Dhund, and your experience of where you were is forgotten, a bad memory that fades. And if your window closes, you’re stuck there forever, so it’s not like you’re filing any reports on the landscape.”
“I don’t understand—she lived a good life. She was a female of worth who was taken early. Why wouldn’t she go into the Fade?”
“Did you hear what I said? Because of you.”
“Me?” He threw his hands up. “What the fuck did I do wrong? I’m living and breathing—I didn’t off myself and I’m not going to—”
“You haven’t let her go. Don’t deny it. Come on, look what you just did to No’One. You walked in on her naked, through no fault of her own, and you tore