the high of victory thudding through our veins, like we’d just conquered the fucking world.
It was just a small show. A small venue with a hot, local crowd.
But it was our first show. And it fucking rocked.
My body was so abuzz with adrenalin and joy, I was half-hard.
Unfortunately, Xander pulled me into one of Dirty’s dressing rooms for Dirty’s pre-show round of bourbon before Taylor even got backstage. She’d been watching the show from the VIP room upstairs. By the time she found us, we were on our second shot, and I passed one to her. Then Brody and Trey and about five hundred other people wanted to talk to me. So I missed the chance to screw Taylor in some dark corner before Dirty took the stage.
While Dirty played their set, I hung out with Taylor backstage. I didn’t feel comfortable going out front or up to the VIP room, so we watched the show from the side of the stage. We stood with Maggie and Jesse’s wife, Katie; neither of them ever seemed to leave their husband’s sides unless they were onstage. Katie’s best friend, Devi, was there too, chatting with Taylor. Taylor had been hanging out with the girls in the Dirty family a lot, ever since she went to work for the band, and they’d all gotten really close.
Even now, whenever I was too burnt out from rehearsals or therapy to socialize, Taylor was always game to go out, hang out with her friends.
I loved that she had that support while I was in my cave.
And of course, Brody was there. He never left his position, standing with his arms crossed over his chest, right next to Jude, the both of them watching the show like they’d never seen it before.
I could only hope that the Players would retain that kind of devotion from their team, over a decade down the road.
When Dirty finally came offstage after their encore, a few lights held onstage, cueing the crowd that the show wasn’t over. The audience kept clapping and stomping and screaming, whistling, waiting for the band to come back out. Another encore? A final bow? Sounded like they’d happily take whatever they could get.
I’d forgotten this feeling.
This moment, when the show was done and the crowd was still hungry for more. The high of it. The satisfaction.
But this show wasn’t really done.
Zane swaggered over to me, shirtless, looking like some vampire out of Twilight with all the sparkle and general aura of trouble he was emanating, plus, the masses chanting for his blood out there. “You ready for this?”
“Never. But let’s do it anyway.”
He laughed and clapped me on the shoulder. Then he headed out to the stage and the crowd exploded with lust. The members of Dirty followed, one by one, until it was our turn.
I hugged Taylor. “See you in a bit, babe.”
“What’s happening?” She blinked at me. “You guys are going back out there?”
“Yup.” I kissed her, and someone slapped me on the back. I glanced back to find Xander.
“You good?” he asked me.
“Yeah. I’m good.”
He gave me a quick hug. And as the other members of my band gave their partners a final hug or kiss before heading back out onstage, my gaze snagged on Taylor’s best friend, hugging her husband… and then hugging Matt.
I turned to nudge Taylor, and nodded toward Danica and Matt. I leaned in to ask her, “Did you ask her about that yet?” Because we’d both agreed that there was a story there.
Taylor glanced over at them. “I didn’t have to ask. She tells me everything. You know… eventually.”
“And… you’re not gonna tell me?” I deduced.
She smiled at me. “It’s not my story to tell.”
We all gathered onstage for the final song of the night. All the members of Dirty and the Players. And me.
Zane took the mic and introduced me. “Hey kids, this is Cary Clarke,” he said, and that was all it took. The place exploded in bloodlust, for Zane, or for me, I wasn’t even sure. Both of us? He gave me a hug and said in my ear, “Go kill this thing you’ve been dragging around.” Then he held the mic out to me.
His icy blue eyes held mine under the bright stage lights, and a shiver went through me.
Let go of your ghosts.
But before I could take the mic, Ash reached past me and grabbed it himself. “Yo, I’ve just gotta say something quick.” The crowd screamed some more, and when they’d finally