it would be a cure-all, only to realize it had made a modest difference at best.
“Did you tell the band to suck it?”
“Among other things.” My lips twitch at the corner and hers curve to match.
Suddenly, I’m remembering the feel of them under mine. I’m thinking of the things that mouth has done to me. The things I never had a chance to do with it.
I wish I could say we made it work with me on tour and her in New York, or even that we tried.
But that would be a lie.
She didn’t want me.
Not that she said as much. But overnight, our relationship was reduced to stilted texts, rushed phone calls squeezed into the margins of our lives.
The shows and the work and the relentless schedule were something I ended up grateful for because they kept me from thinking too much about what could’ve been.
I was going through some shit—trauma, plus shock, chased by some depression. Some days felt fine, like cracked pieces of broken ground after an earthquake settling together over time. Some days, it was hell.
“How hard was it to learn to pick with your other hand?” Her question brings me back.
To the rest of the world, I’d diminish it. The long hours late at night, early in the morning, learning my craft from scratch until I was better than most, if not as good as I once was.
“Hard.”
Her eyes color with compassion over the rim of her glass.
I’m not the same person I was two years ago. Most people would agree that I’m more, given my career, my recognition, the gold album I recorded with the help of half a dozen nimble-fingered studio musicians.
But in some ways, I’m less.
We’ve both moved on, and I don’t blame her for our breakup. I was impossible to be around.
Still. I wish she hadn’t been so quick to ask me to leave, and so willing to accept when our schedules made it harder to connect.
Because she didn’t want us as much as I did.
So maybe I do blame her.
My gaze drops to a chain glinting dully in the sunlight and disappearing beneath the already-low V of her dress.
When she shifts, I catch a glimpse of the end of it. Instead of a ring and a rose, there’s pearl-encrusted pendant.
Because it’s not my chain.
And she’s not my girl.
There are plenty of women who’d beg for a chance to satisfy me, including the one I met at this party who was exploring the studio with me when Annie walked in.
I clear my throat. “I heard you’re writing a new show.” I haven’t been keeping tabs on her, but I get the big developments from my roommate in LA, since she and Beck are still friends.
“We’re pitching funders later this summer, but there’ve been some problems.” A frown crosses her face. “I wasn’t sure I should come to the party at all because of my deadline. Now it turns out Haley invited me and my dad didn’t know I’d be here.”
I blink. “You’re joking.”
She shakes her head, her hair slipping over one shoulder as she scrunches her face in embarrassment. “No. I guess two years is a long time to be gone.”
The pieces click into place.
That was her other surprise today.
Jax hasn’t mentioned her to me since he and I reconnected after my tour, but I figured it was for my benefit, not because he hadn’t seen her either.
Someone calls Annie’s name and she looks past me.
“Looks like Uncle Ryan wants to catch up. I should go.”
“It was good to see you, Six,” I say and mean it.
I don’t know why I slide in the nickname. Habit.
Not to see if there’s a flicker behind her eyes.
“You too, Tyler.”
But as she brushes past me, I can’t help thinking Annie’s the one on the outside looking in.
And it feels wrong.
“Congrats,” I tell Jax after Haley takes Sophie for some quiet time. The party has started to die down, and only Jax’s closer contacts and friends remain.
I lift the glass of bourbon he pushed on me to toast him at the bar inside the house. “You have everything you could want. A beautiful family. A bourbon brand. And now a label, the great ‘fuck you’ to the studio that fucked you first.”
The man of the hour has stripped out of his jacket and is now wearing a black T-shirt and black pants and cowboy boots. When I first arrived, I offered to get him a hat, and he smirked while Haley laughed and murmured something