born in France and moved to the States when he was like a year old. He clung to that story, didn’t he?”
“I guess we all cling to the stories we tell ourselves about our lives. We build up these layers around ourselves. Who we think we are. Who we think we should be. What we think we should do with our lives.”
Cassie pondered his words. “There are a lot of shoulds in there.”
“I think that’s kind of my point. You haven’t done that.”
“I haven’t?”
Jake shook his head. “For the last ten years, you’ve been authentically yourself. Chasing your dream. Moving away from family. Doing what you want on your terms. I guess now your dad thinks you should be willing to come home. Your boss thinks you should be able to put your father’s health concerns to one side. You need to remember who you are and what you want.”
“What about you, Jake?”
Jake grinned. “It would take a shrink to sort my shoulds out, love. Are you cold?”
She could tell he was changing the subject, but after the lovely night they’d had, she didn’t want to push him. He worked too damn hard to be put on the spot after a relaxing evening. “I am a bit.”
Jake pulled her into a hug, then kissed her softly. His hand slid into her hair as he moved his lips against hers. She opened for him, allowing their tongues to meet. It was everything their first kiss had been and more. Cassie gripped the back of his shirt, as his hand trailed down to her butt to tug her closer to him.
Yes, they were outside, but it was so damn quiet you could have heard a pin drop. And there wasn’t a person around. Instead of worrying, Cassie gave in to everything Jake was giving her.
“As first dates go, how was it?” Jake asked, when he finally pulled away from her mouth.
“You did good, Jake.”
“Good. Let’s go home before you get chilled.” They took the shortcut across the park to his home, Jake’s arm wrapped around her the whole time.
It felt safe. And warm. And so dependable.
But she couldn’t overthink why Jake felt like all that after being here for only a week.
She hadn’t imagined that the boy she’d grown up with could seem so wholly different to her now. And yet . . . still remain exactly the same.
It was confusing.
And stimulating.
As the house began to draw closer, Cassie’s brain went into overdrive. Was he going to have sex with her? Heck, did he think her words yesterday meant she expected him to have sex with her?
“You’ve gone quiet, love.”
Jake opened the front door as Cassie realized she was on his porch. She’d been so wrapped up in her thoughts.
“Sorry. I was thinking about us. This.”
Jake eyed her carefully. “Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”
“Honestly, I was thinking about how sex will really change things. And how I’m running hot and cold on the impact of it. And wondering whether we should have done this years ago, or whether it should happen at all.”
Jake placed his palms on her hips. “You think a lot.”
“Habit, I guess. My job relies on me thinking through impact and implication. What would happen if we did something this way versus that? I’m just being foolish. Ignore me.” She waved her hand as if to brush the words away, but Jake took it and kissed it.
“We don’t need to do anything until you’re sure, Cass. I mean, I might try to persuade you, but I’d never push you or force you.”
“I know you wouldn’t. And I’m disappointed because I pride myself on my decisiveness. To pull together all the evidence, the pros and cons, and make a call. But this, I can’t see it clearly enough, I don’t think.”
Jake took her hand and led her down the hallway, but she was surprised when he stopped outside the spare room. “Sleep on it, love. You know where I am, and I’m not going anywhere.”
He kissed her again, but this time chastely. Sweetly. The kind of kiss that made Cassie all gooey inside.
“Thanks for a lovely evening,” she whispered.
“You’re welcome.”
She watched him walk toward his bedroom. He was a good man. Perhaps too good a man. It was unfair to let him develop feelings for her when she couldn’t stay, but at the same time, she couldn’t stop the onslaught of feelings in her own heart.
Jake Dyer.
She shook her head and wandered into the spare room.