door pulls my eyes from my sleeping beauty.
Maybe it’s Nance and the world can go back to partially normal.
I open the door, sort of stunned and slightly uncomfortable to see James. He looks up as the door cracks and I can’t read his eyes. I can’t guess what he’s thinking to save my life.
He passes me my old case with the ponies and stickers on it. I take it, almost smiling until I see he looks behind me and narrows his gaze. “Just wanted to see what time we were practicing?”
I look back, smiling. The little wee bit of me that’s a good person screams for me to tell him the boy passed out in my bed is not only gay but would easily wrestle me for ten minutes for him—THE James Holland. But the evil side wins and I clear my throat, scratching my head. “You could have texted. I told everyone seven.”
He nods, stepping back. He’s pissed. I can read that look from a mile. “Great. See you then.” He makes a noise that I think is probably bad and walks off.
Something wicked happens as I close the door—I smile.
He likes me. Not just say the nicest shit ever and break my heart and kiss me in the dark before running away, kind of like either. He really likes me.
Hmm.
“Did you just let that poor boy see me and think something unholy?”
I turn to see Leo grinning and nod.
“That’s a mean thing to do.” He clears his throat and sits up, looking groggy. “Wait a hot minute, was that James Holland—THE James Holland?”
I press my back into the closed door and bite my lip. My face answers for me.
He rolls his eyes, pointing at the door. “GO GET HIM, YOU CRAZY BITCH!”
I glance at the time, seeing it’s six thirty and shake my head. “We have rehearsals in half an hour. He’ll be there.”
“Rehearsals? Jesus, out of desperation for friendship you joined the theatre group, didn’t you?”
It makes me snort on my way to the shower. “Come with me tonight and see.”
His eyes glisten. “I’m not very good company tonight, Lana.”
Stopping dead in my tracks I just say the thing I want to scream to the whole world. “I’m terrified of performing in front of people. I don’t want to be an agent or a music mogul. I don’t want a music label, at least not at this stage in my life. I just want to find my music again.“
He hesitates before asking, “You sing?”
“I can but mostly I play a violin or fiddle.”
“No way.”
His doubt in me makes me smile. “I don’t think I can even play for you without having a panic attack. But if you come, I will try to be the person I am, for real, so you can see me for the first time.”
He smiles wider. “Let me go shower. I’ll meet you in the hall.”
I nod and he dashes off.
Every nerve in my body is on fire. I have never just confessed to it before. And I can’t help but wonder if it is James maybe, making me feel braver and stronger because he’s accepted who I am, and makes me feel like I can too.
Chapter Fourteen
Normal guys
James
I hate that I’m sitting outside of the hall waiting for Lana, but my legs won’t move.
I hate it even more when she shows up with the same guy who was passed out on her bed. She looks dolled up and confident, not looking the girl I like but the society minx. Not until she lifts her face, mid-laugh at whatever clever thing the preppy little bastard is saying. Then there is a moment where her eyes meet mine, and I swear they sparkle more than all the stars in the sky. She has on a short black skirt with knee-high leather boots and a teal sweater. Her dark-blonde hair and tanned skin make her glow under the lights above.
I look past her to the guy, wanting to give him a shitty glare but I can’t. He’s giving me the same sweet smile she is. I don’t even know how to take it so I just let them walk to me. He walks past but she stops, holding her violin case with the ponies and stickers.
“So what’s the plan for tonight?”
She nods at the guy. “Brought my friend, Leo, to see if I can play for him, in front of him.”
It hits me then. “Is he the guy who sided with Nance in the big