grass it looks as though it’s on wheels. But before the vicar can do anything a ginger cat legs it onto the scene and grabs it in his mouth and then tries to exit the garden by the nearest fence.
‘Oh,’ gasp various people.
‘Tiddles, leave that mouse alone!’ shouts the vicar.
Cats usually hang on to a mouse they’ve caught if they can, but I think this one is somewhat surprised (I can’t blame him, as the vicar is waving his cassock at him, which is a pretty scary sight), because the cat immediately drops the mouse. It proceeds to run across the lawn again, where it’s snapped up by a dog. Rather than running off with its prize, the spaniel sits holding the poor little mouse in its mouth. This mouse must be thinking it’s having a really bad day. Meanwhile on the screens it’s total pandemonium: kids are laughing, people are offering helpful advice. Mum’s yelling, ‘Tell the dog to leave it!’
The bride and groom are doubled up with laughter.
‘Nell, leave!’ bellows the vicar. Fortunately Nell is obviously of a biddable disposition and promptly drops the mouse, which seemingly perfectly unharmed, scurries off into a nearby bush and relative safety.
The vicar looks a bit shaken by all of this. ‘Sorry about that,’ he says casually, as though this sort of thing is commonplace. His face looms ridiculously close to the screen. ‘I will be having a serious word with my pets after the service. Now … where were we?’
Both Jessica and Zach say their vows clearly and thank goodness the screen only freezes slightly once, which is good going for a Zoom call. I notice Mum wiping a tear from her eye and even Henry the best man looks quite emotional for him, either that or he suffers from hay fever.
Thank goodness and, I think, truly miraculously, the rest of the service goes without a hitch and the vicar looking eminently relieved pronounces Jess and Zach man and wife. As he does so, a great cheering comes from all the screens. Jack and I cheer madly too and round Jess and Zach’s courtyard garden, the neighbours in balconies either side of their house, throw down confetti, in a shower of rainbow pastel colours. It’s all really emotional and not for the first time today I’m really glad I’ve worn waterproof mascara.
Dad gives his speech and tells Jess how important she has always been to him and how he looks forward to welcoming Zach as part of the family. Zach’s mum also gives a speech saying how fond she is of Jess and I feel a flash of envy. Ryan’s mum was always horrible, making little snipey comments. Even when I had passed all my legal exams, she had nothing nice to say about it and I wonder randomly what Jack’s mum is like.
The Reverend Bumble returns to the screen. ‘Now Jess’s godmother Steph is going to play the bride’s favourite song, “All You Need Is Love”, with the Quatrani string quartet!’
Jess’s face is a picture, she obviously did not see this coming and I have to say I am also in tears as the strings group play her favourite piece of music. It’s so touching, all the musicians creating a completely united and beautiful piece of music from their separate homes.
‘Thank you so much, Steph, Mum and Sophia, who I think might have organised this. You’re the best!’ Jess says through her tears.
All the relations on the screens clap and whoop.
‘And now,’ says the Reverend Bumble, ‘we have a montage created by Jess with the aid of a few little helpers.’
The screen fills with photos of Jess as a child and of Zach when he was little, followed by lots of romantic shots of them both and then pictures of all of us as families, both ours and Zach’s. It all ends with a close-up of the paintings created by my class at school, which have come together to make an amazing big picture. It all works surprisingly well, with a large message in the middle, entwined with painted roses, saying, ‘Happy Wedding Day to Jess and Zach!’
‘Thanks so much,’ Zach says. ‘This painting is brilliant, thanks to Freya, Pritti, Lola, Milo, Alfie and Zane! We will be sending them all thank you cards with a piece of the wedding cake.’
‘Okay, so there’s someone watching this who is going to get a surprise of their own,’ says Jess, grinning.
Whilst I am watching and wondering what she’s talking about, out of