Love at the Little Wedding Shop by the Sea - Jane Linfoot Page 0,95

all that after all.’

Nic gives me a nudge. ‘You surely aren’t going to tell me you’ve lost your magic?’

I have to level with him. ‘I’m only being realistic. Since I’ve been in St Aidan, everything I touch turns to shit.’

Nic’s frowning. ‘That’s not true. In any case, real life isn’t ever perfect; the imperfections are what make it interesting.’

I have to disagree. ‘These last couple of months it’s been one disaster after another for me. Cock-ups, epic fails and catastrophes. Monumental mistakes and enormous failures. Eff-ups and dog’s breakfasts.’

Nic’s lips are lilting. ‘Think about all the things you do succeed at, rather than the bits that don’t work out. You have so many amazing qualities, Milla, those are what you need to focus on. No one’s good at everything, remember. Accepting yourself as you are can set you free.’

‘In my case it might just finish me off.’

He’s giving me a sideways look. ‘Or it’s possible you’ve been trying to be someone else for too long, and this is the real you finally breaking through.’

‘Bloody hell, Nic, you sound a lot like my mum in her Hari Krishna phase.’

That really makes him smile. Which makes it all the worse for me because when he does my stomach instantly dissolves. He clears his throat. ‘The point is, we don’t all get the lives we plan for. Take Bill – for a long time he was in a relationship that didn’t make him happy and after they split he hadn’t seen Abby for a year. Then Ivy came along, and here he is, back with Abby again.’

‘When did you find this out?’ Nic’s full of surprises this afternoon.

‘We guys aren’t all strong, silent, and non-communicative.’ He laughs. ‘Ivy told me, but Bill filled in the gaps.’

‘Oh my.’ Nic turned my legs to jelly before, but with this open, soft-centred version, it’s ten times harder to think clean thoughts. Picturing him naked is nothing – right now I’ve knocked him onto the sand, jumped on top of him, and I’m about to pash the socks off him. But actually, it’s more than that. I’m thinking how lovely he’d be to come home to, sitting on the sofa with his feet on the coffee table, Merwyn on his knee …

But he breaks in. ‘You’re doing it tough now, but you have to trust that when the time is right, all the pieces of your life will fall into place.’

‘You really think my life will click, like it did for Bill and Ivy?’

He smiles at me. ‘So long as you keep believing, you’ll get those “his and hers” matching slippers and the comfy sofa and the dog.’ He can have no idea right now that the feet I’m picturing in those slippers are his.

I laugh because he sounds so certain. ‘Back at you, Captain Kirk.’

Instead of grinning, he purses his lips. ‘Not everyone deserves a happy ending as much as you. Some of us won’t ever get there.’ As he turns towards me, he’s smiling down at me, but his eyes are dark and shot with pain.

‘Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?’

‘Probably not.’

The way he hunches his shoulders and lets out a long sigh, all I want to do is throw my arms around him. To rock him and make him feel better. He looks so sad and lost, my heart aches for him. It’s as if there’s an invisible cord between us, drawing me to him. But before I can move my legs, he takes a step towards me. One tiny step. It’s a small patch of sand, but he’s crossed an unspoken barrier to a whole other place. As he arrives in my space, my heart clatters against my ribs so hard I’m jolting.

He’s so close I can feel the heat radiating out of his body. See the individual hairs on his forearms. So close that when I reach straight upwards, my palm is grazing his jaw. Rubbing his cheek. My thumb is following the line of his cheekbone. And he’s tilting his head, pushing so hard against the pressure of my hand, I can feel the scratch of his stubble on my fingers. Then he’s closing his eyes. Biting his lip. Turning. He slides his mouth to gently brush the skin of my inner wrist. I hold my breath, letting out the smallest whimper as I sense the flicker of his tongue.

My whole body is screaming. Primed. Bursting with anticipation. His eyes darken as he dips. Slowly, gently. It’s completely unexpected,