little like he’d walked cartoon-like into a pole he hadn’t seen coming. The idea that Caden might matter to someone as much as Dave did to Caden, the idea that what Caden did for his patients might impact them the same way Dave’s care had impacted Caden all those years ago…it was fucking revelatory.
His scalp prickled and his heart raced. All these years that Caden had wasted feeling worthless and guilty, wondering what the point of his surviving had been, he’d always thought of his work as paying a debt he owed. And there was truth in that. But there was truth in what Dave said, too.
What Caden did mattered to a lot of people.
Which meant that he mattered, whether he felt it or not.
Damn. Damn.
That idea parked itself on Caden’s chest like a thirty-ton ladder truck. That shit wasn’t going anywhere.
It was like sunlight breaking through heavy black clouds, the golden rays streaming in and touching everything in their paths. Illuminating things that had been dark for so long. Shedding light on things long forgotten. It was a lightness of being that Caden couldn’t ever remember feeling before. Soul-healing relief rushed in behind the light, along with the unimaginable—forgiveness.
And not just for himself.
Had Caden’s father ever had anyone to talk to about the accident? Because if Caden felt guilt just for surviving, what must his father have felt for being the one behind the wheel?
The question was another eye-opener, one that had his heart letting go of some of the anger Caden had carried for over half of his life. And more of that light streamed in.
Before long, he was exchanging contact information with Dave and the others and saying his good-byes. And Caden felt like he’d finally figured out Dr. Ward’s advice. Because an hour with the men who’d saved his life had done more to give him closure on the accident than anything else in the past fourteen years.
“Hey, Caden,” Dave called as Caden was heading out of the bay.
Caden turned. “Yeah?”
Dave gave him a serious look. “If I’ve learned anything, it’s that little matters more than family and love. Do whatever you have to do to win back that girl.”
“I’m going to do everything I can,” Caden said.
And after today, he finally felt like he might be ready.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Makenna left her four-month check-up and knew the time had come—she had to tell Caden about the baby. The ultrasound appointment was in two weeks, and there was no reason to keep putting the conversation off, except that she was nervous as hell about doing it.
Driving through the early evening darkness, Makenna made her way to Caden’s house. This conversation couldn’t happen by phone or text or email. She had to do it face to face—not just because it was the right way to go about it, but because she needed to see Caden. To see how he was. To see how he reacted to the news. She just needed to see him.
Because Caden Grayson was an ache inside her that wouldn’t go away.
She pulled into his cul-de-sac to find his house dark and his parking place empty. Echoing the trip she’d made over a month ago, she drove to the little firehouse on the other side of Fairlington—but this time she found his Jeep.
He’d gone back to work.
Makenna’s chest swelled with emotion. If he’d gone back, that must mean he was okay, and that made her happy. But the fact that he’d gone back to work—but not come back to her—really must mean that whatever sliver of hope she’d been holding out for them was completely pointless.
If he was going to come back, he’d have done it.
At least, now she knew.
Anyway, that’s not what telling him about the baby was about. More than that, she didn’t want Caden back if the baby was the only reason he wanted to be in her life. So. Fine.
As she parked her car along the curb, the clock on the dash said that it was nearly 5:30. His shift probably ended at seven tonight or seven tomorrow morning, depending on the schedule—the firehouse had an overlapping shift system to ensure they were always staffed and could give the guys adequate days off after working twenty-four hours at a time. Which meant she could either go in there and talk to him. Or she could wait.
After waiting two months, she would’ve thought the idea of a few more hours would’ve been nothing. But knowing Caden was just across the street in that