on a manila envelope Anna had delivered yesterday. The envelope with the survey results. No, not just the survey results, her survey results. She’d done the analysis, but had chickened out and had Anna do the number matching.
Lauren picked up the envelope, weighing it in her hands.
Sometimes it seemed as if she’d spent her entire life wanting what she couldn’t have. She’d always known she wasn’t a priority in her father’s life, but at least she thought he loved her. A couple nights ago it had been made clear that he only wanted her in his life if she fit into a nice, tidy slot. She could finally admit that with the previous men in her life, she’d settled for less than she deserved by telling herself that’s all she wanted.
Lying to herself had become a pattern. She’d told herself she didn’t need or want more than she’d been given. But she did. She wanted a man who would love her mind as much as he loved her body. She wanted a man who would be her best friend. She wanted a man willing and able to commit to her one hundred percent. If only Seth were free to love me. If only—
She slammed the door shut on the pointless wishing. Wishing things were different didn’t change the reality. There was no room in Seth’s life for her. Whether they matched or not was a moot point.
Lauren strolled over to the nearest wastebasket and dropped in the envelope.
Chapter Seventeen
Lauren stood on the porch and breathed in the fresh Montana air. For mid-January, a sunny day in the upper-fifties was practically balmy. She’d done a few chores after Kim had left. Then, feeling restless, had taken a stroll around the yard. She’d asked Ivy if she wanted to come outside, but Ivy had moved from her homework to teaching Bailey some special “super-duper” trick as a welcome-home surprise for Seth.
Lifting her face to the sun, Lauren reveled in the warmth against her cheeks. She wasn’t sure how long she stood there. Only that the sound of an engine snapped her to attention.
A bright red pickup rounded the curve in the driveway, and Lauren’s heart gave a leap. She opened the front door. “Ivy, your daddy’s home.”
“Don’t let him come inside,” Ivy called back, her voice filled with panic. “Bailey’s not cooperating.”
“I’ll stall,” Lauren promised. She shut the door and returned to the front rail, trying to still the excitement rising inside her.
The truck pulled to a stop and Seth stepped out. He wore her favorite shirt—the one Anna had given him for his birthday. The one that made his eyes look as blue as the ocean.
Lauren was seized with the sudden urge to run to him, like a heroine from an old-time movie when her husband comes home from war. But he wasn’t her husband. He wasn’t even her boyfriend. Still, he was home and she couldn’t stop joy from sluicing through her veins.
Seth ambled up the walk, the sun highlighting the gold in his hair, those gorgeous eyes focused directly on her. He paused at the bottom of the steps. “Hello, Lauren.”
Her cheeks heated under the intensity of his gaze. “Hello, Seth.”
Keeping his gaze firmly on her face, he climbed the steps. In seconds he stood an arm’s length away, close enough to touch but not touching. “Where’s Ivy?”
“Your little dog trainer is inside showing Bailey a new trick. Shh.” She touched a finger to her lips. “It’s a surprise.”
He took a step closer, his gaze lingering on her lips. “Discretion is my middle name.”
The air sizzled with electricity. Her knees turned to jelly and she tightened her fingers around the porch rail for support.
“I missed you,” he murmured. “God, how I missed you.”
The words seemed to come out of nowhere. For a second she wondered if she’d only imagined them. Until she saw the look in his eyes.
“I missed you, too.” The admission flowed from her heart. In a matter of days she’d be gone. Nothing was going to change that outcome. But for these few fleeting moments she would be honest. With him. With herself. “I felt as if part of me was missing. I know it sounds silly...”
“Not silly at all,” he said. “I couldn’t wait to get back here. As soon as I finished, I jumped in the truck and headed home.”
Lauren’s heart skipped a beat. She gestured to the porch swing. “Do you have time to sit for a few minutes? Ivy is working with