Love Him Free (On the Market #1) - E.M. Lindsey Page 0,37

Simon had ever met, though he didn’t know him well. He was always kind though, when he went to pick up bagel orders. His smiles for Simon were soft, his voice easy, like he didn’t mind Simon was an anxious mess on Sunday morning. He ran a little Blacksmith booth at the Farmer’s Market, and on his display table he had an array of jewelry and sculptures that were strange, but beautiful in a chaotic way.

Birdie looked a little sheepish at being caught, but he beckoned them over and leaned on his table as they approached. ‘Kids are assholes.’

Rocco looked startled, then lifted his hands. ‘You sign?’

‘Deaf cousin,’ Birdie supplied, and Simon startled because he hadn’t known that. Of course, refusing to leave his house after being dragged back when his Bubbe got sick—he didn’t know these people well at all. ‘I’m not good.’

‘You’re fine,’ Rocco insisted.

Simon felt a wave of ugly jealousy hit him for just a moment—because Birdie was nothing like him. He was almost as large as Rocco, and gorgeous, and friendly. He had been the quiet one of his friend group, but he wasn’t a shy mess like Simon.

No one was like Simon.

He was dragged out of his twisting anguish when Rocco tugged him closer. ‘We’re on a date.’

Birdie’s eyes went wide, his lips turning up in the corners. Simon expected to see something mocking, but instead he saw genuine pleasure. ‘That’s amazing. You know ASL?’

Simon nodded. ‘I took it in college. Three and a half years.’

‘Four got to be too much?’ Birdie teased, and it didn’t mean to land hard. It was obvious by the look on his face he was treating Simon like he would anyone else.

But it just landed wrong, and he winced. ‘I…’

Rocco shook his head. ‘We have to go. It was nice to meet you.’

Rocco turned his back, taking Simon with him, and he heard Birdie’s apologetic voice call after them, “It was good to see you, Simon. I hope you come by next week.”

Simon didn’t turn around. He didn’t even look up from his shoes until Rocco sat him on a bench, and he realized they were at the outskirts of the market. They hadn’t even seen anything before he had to be rescued—not even from a crowd, but from a single, friendly man. He curled his hands into fists and squeezed, wanting to feel the pain.

His breathing was a little labored, and he didn’t calm until Rocco pressed strong thumbs into the strained tendons of his wrist. When his hands uncurled, Rocco swung his leg over to straddle the bench and he waited for Simon to look up.

‘You left college when your grandmother died,’ Rocco signed. It wasn’t a question, Simon had told him this before, but he could see Rocco’s concern.

‘I probably could have taken Levi back with me and shut down the bakery,’ Simon admitted. ‘Finished school then. But I didn’t even know what I wanted to do. I was one semester away from graduating, and then she got sick and…’ Simon’s hands dropped for a second, and he swallowed back tears he hadn’t cried in so long. ‘She didn’t last long—just a few weeks. By then, I just didn’t want to do anything except get by and keep Levi from spiraling out of control. He was…angry at me. He hated me.’

Rocco cocked his head to the side. ‘He loves you now.’

Simon couldn’t help a bitter laugh and shook his head. ‘He resents me. I’m too…rigid.’

With a soft grin, Rocco reached out and traced the edge of his jaw. ‘You feel soft to me.’

Simon choked back a sob. He wanted to lean in and lose himself in the strong arms of the man who seemed to want him in spite of all the ways he was a disaster, but he couldn’t let himself. Not yet. Maybe not ever. ‘Losing my dad was hard—but he was in the military and he was gone a lot. My mom lost herself to grief when he died, and I think…’ He glanced away and rubbed at the scar on his chest. He didn’t remember how he’d gotten it—he didn’t remember feeling pain until days after he left the hospital. He had seventy-three stitches there, and he remembered every eternal minute it took to pull them out. ‘It was ruled an accident, but I don’t think she was being careful. I don’t know if it was on purpose. It was a miracle I survived, but I think Levi blames me for living