Love Him Desperate (On the Market #5) - E.M. Lindsey Page 0,93
He wriggled his toes until Raphael laughed and resumed his tender massage, and then Dmitri rolled onto his back.
“How long was I out?”
Raphael gave him a dark look. “Three days, Dmitri.”
He sat half up in a panic until he saw the mirth in his friend’s eyes, then he sank back down and kicked him in the thigh. “God, you’re such a dick.”
Raphael chuckled and dug his thumbs into Dmitri’s arch. “A couple of hours is all. You could probably use more rest.”
Dmitri scrubbed at his eyes, and he knew Raphael was right, but he still had work that week, and he had mid-terms to study for. At the thought of school, he remembered Rian, and then the events of the past few hours crashed into him, and he wrenched away from Raphael, curling up against the arm of the sofa.
“Oh my god. You kissed me. Out by the rock, we…I told you to kiss me, and you did!”
Raphael frowned. “Yes. I did.”
“You…we. You took me home. I’m here.”
Raphael passed a hand down his face, then pressed his curled knuckles down into the sofa cushion so he could adjust himself to better face Dmitri. “Yes. You are here.”
“You said you were in love with me,” he whispered.
Raphael frowned at him for a long time. “I don’t understand. If I took advantage…”
“You’re dating someone. You’re dating my professor—and you just cheated on him with me.”
Raphael blinked, then sagged and almost looked relieved, which made Dmitri’s stomach twist harder. “Ah, kleine Engel. Please, stop panicking. I didn’t cheat.”
Dmitri shook his head. “I don’t think I can share. I’m sorry—I want to be more open-minded, and I think I am, but I don’t think I can let you…”
His rambling stopped when Raphael reached for him, and as wrong as it felt, he let the man he loved gather him close, kiss him gently on his cheeks until his breathing slowed. “Rian and I are over.”
“Because of me,” Dmitri murmured. He bowed his head and rested his face against Raphael’s chest.
“Yes, but I didn’t cheat. Rian knew I was in love with someone else, and I broke it off with him before we found you with Kyle.”
Dmitri gave an involuntary flinch, then sighed a little when Raphael’s grip on him went a little tighter. “Does he know it’s me?”
“He does now. He didn’t before,” Raphael admitted. He pushed at Dmitri until he sat back, then he cupped his cheek gently with stiff fingers that felt heavy and perfect against his flushed skin. “When we found you—when he saw me look at you, I think he knew then.”
Dmitri bit his top lip hard before letting it go. “How the hell can I show my face in his class ever again?”
Raphael winced a little, and he glanced off to the side. “I wish I had a good answer for that, but I don’t. I can’t reassure you, but I can tell you that I think Rian is a good person. I think he’s always genuinely cared about you. I think he’ll want you to be happy.”
“What about you?” Dmitri asked.
At that, Raphael chuckled. “I can’t say. He doesn’t owe me anything, but that’s okay. I have all I want right here.” He pushed his fingers into Dmitri’s hair and rubbed their noses together.
“Jesus,” Dmitri breathed out. “Is this what I’ve been missing all this time?”
Raphael only smiled wider. “Es ist vielleicht.”
Groaning, Dmitri pushed his face into Raphael’s neck and let himself just feel the warmth of him, the ability to touch and be touched without worry that it would be snatched away. To know he was loved—that Raphael was in love with him—and he was free to love right back.
“I guess I know what my foreign language is going to be.”
Raphael laughed and tipped Dmitri’s face up with a thumb under his chin. “I will teach you everything you need to know in my language. You take any and all classes that will make you happy.”
Dmitri let his eyes close for a long second, and he breathed in the soft, easy scent of Raphael that he’d grown so accustomed to over the last year and a half. “I never thought,” he started, but he couldn’t make the words come.
Raphael’s touch gentled, dragging down his neck, making his body warm all over. It had never been like this with anyone—he had never wanted with his entire body, never craved this way. He felt no pressure to be anyone else, to perform a certain way. He felt cherished.