Love Him Desperate (On the Market #5) - E.M. Lindsey Page 0,92

his arms around his middle. “It’s not like it’s anyone’s fault.”

“It’s Kyle’s fault,” James breathed out. “But I get what you mean. Sometimes shit happens, and sometimes the people around us are powerless to do anything about it. I just really fucking hate that.”

There was something in his tone that told Dmitri it was more personal than just Kyle. “Did something happen to you?”

“No,” James bit out, then offered him an apologetic look, though he didn’t smile. “No. It wasn’t me.”

But it was someone close to him. Someone he loved. Dmitri knew better than to ask, though, so he licked his lips, then shifted just a little bit closer. “Thank you for having my back.”

James looked over at him, surprise in his gaze, and his mouth went a little soft as he shook his head. “God, don’t thank me. He deserves a lot more than a fat lip.”

Dmitri was pretty sure right then, Kyle would get it. He knew what it was like to be universally distrusted by Cherry Creek—but the word would spread, and it would be so much more than a lingering scab. He’d never be welcome anywhere again, and Dmitri thought maybe he should try to feel sorry for him, but he couldn’t.

“Was this the only time he tried that with you?” James asked after a beat.

Dmitri nodded, squeezing his eyes shut. “The first time we talked, he said he understood.” His voice cracked, and he cleared his throat. “I told him I was asexual, and he said it was fine. But…” He couldn’t bring himself to repeat the sharp, ugly words. There was no need to shred himself further for something he knew was a lie—something he knew didn’t matter. “I think he was drunk.”

“That doesn’t mean shit,” James growled, and Dmitri smiled a little.

“I know.”

“He’d better not show his face here again.”

At that, Dmitri had to laugh. “I don’t think he will.”

Come morning, Dmitri’s anxiety made him doubt those words. What if his reputation was too tarnished for people to believe him? What if they thought he was asking for it?

What if they thought Kyle was right?

He spent the night staring up at his ceiling, watching shadows from the trees outside play across the pale white surface. By morning, he was bone-tired but restless, and when he called in to see if Ronan had work, he was dismissed to rest. It stung, but he understood because had it been anyone else, he would have said the same.

He didn’t bother with Wilder. His other boss would have had him come in only to mother him, and Lorenzo would over-compensate, and Dmitri felt like he would crack under the softness of his friends. So, he left. He went for a drive, all the way down the hill and back, and then he walked. People saw him, they waved, and he saw pity and sympathy in their eyes. It was enough to ease some of his fears, but he still jumped every time a shop door opened and a person walked out.

He realized he was afraid to see Kyle. He didn’t fear the man—not physically, but he knew he couldn’t take another confrontation that soon. It was no surprise, in the end, that he found himself sitting on the boulder. And it was no surprise when Raphael eventually found him.

He just hadn’t expected the rest.

He knew someday someone would love him as he was—for the person he was, without wanting to fix him or change him or shape him into something new. He just hadn’t been brave enough to believe it could be Raphael. He hadn’t expected Raphael to apologize, to hold the blame, then to kiss him until Dmitri couldn’t feel his fingers and toes.

When they finally got back to Raphael’s place, in spite of his exhaustion, he hadn’t expected to sleep. Hell, he hadn’t expected himself to say yes when Raphael invited him inside, but his feet moved before he was consciously aware of it, and he didn’t put up a fight when Raphael bundled him up on the sofa, kissed his forehead, and said he was going to make tea. But that was the last thing he remembered until he woke up with his feet in Raphael’s hands and the TV on in the background.

When he shifted, Raphael’s grip on him tightened for a moment, then slowly released, and Dmitri felt the absence of the touch almost painfully. Charlie’s hands had been suffocating, but Raphael’s were like finally being able to take a full breath.