I have to do is throw some vomit on him and he’ll be running.” I chortled, but she didn’t.
“It’s not funny, English. This is serious business. Talk to your parents. If you don’t, I will.”
My hands automatically came up. “Fine. I will. I’m on my daughter’s side, any way I look at it.”
“Then please give me some peace of mind. That guy is a menace.”
I hugged her hard. “Thank you. You always did have my back, even now when you’re hurting so bad you can barely breathe. You’re the best friend a girl could ask for and I love you.”
“I love you too. Now do you have any wine, vodka, grain alcohol, moonshine? This girl could use a good dose of something to drown her sorrows.”
“How about a fancy drink? I have the fixin’s for a cosmo.”
“Oooh, that sounds perfect.”
This was my specialty drink, so I mixed up two of them and we both drank to our problems—she to her stinkbutt ex-fiancé and me to my child’s screwball dad.
“May the fleas of a thousand cows infest their crotches.” She raised her glass.
“Oooh, that’s a good one.” I clinked my glass with hers and giggled. Then I said, “I have one. May they be saddled with buttbreath for life.”
“Woot!” She held up her glass and we toasted. “My turn. May their stupid man roots succumb to the weed killer Roundup.”
I spit out my drink, laughing. “Eww. That means their dicks would shrivel up and fall off.”
“Exactly. Fine with me. Dickrot.”
These cosmos were making her bold. “Wouldn’t it be great to tell them this to their faces?”
Her eyes brightened. “Let’s!”
“No! We are not doing that.”
“Come on!”
“Okay, slow your roll there, missy. We can’t do it. It’ll ruin our fun.”
She pouted. “You’re such a buzzkill. This was so fun until you said no.”
“You’ll thank me later. Trust me.”
“In that case, I’ll have another cosmo.”
“I’ll make you one as long as you promise not to drive home. You can sleep in the guest room. Oh, and try not to act drunk around Easton.”
Indignation rose up in Stacey as she squared her drooping shoulders and gave me an evil squint. “English Bridges, I am not drunk and don’t intend to get in that state.”
I threw back my head and cackled. I’d seen her drunk plenty of times in our college days and knew how she acted when she was inebriated. That cosmo I’d made her had enough vodka in it to send her on the way. “You may not be flat-out wasted, but you’re headed in that direction. So, with that, will you promise not to drive home?”
“I promise.” She gave me the three-finger salute. “Boy Scout’s honor.”
“You know, that only counts if you’re a true Boy Scout.”
Her hand flapped through the air. “Whatevs. I can call an Uber, so don’t worry about me.”
“Fine. I’ll go mix up another batch.” What she didn’t know was mine were virgins. I had a daughter to take care of and couldn’t afford to get even the slightest bit tipsy. Easton had just had surgery so I didn’t want to screw anything up. And speaking of that, I needed to check on her.
After mixing another round for Stacey, I ran up to Easton’s room, where she still slept peacefully. Her forehead was cool, so I tucked the covers around her and softly closed the door. I wished I still had the baby monitor with the camera, but I’d given that up long ago when she was able to get out of bed and come to my room to tell me if something was wrong. A smile tugged at my mouth when I remembered those toddler days. She’d been a funny thing, building forts in her room and sleeping under the stars. We’d stuck glow-in-the-dark ones on her ceiling so she’d made out like she was camping outside in her makeshift fort.
Dad and Geepa had promised to build her a real fort this summer, aka a little house in the back yard. We had plenty of space, and my parents had one they’d built for the kids after we moved there. I remembered when they’d told me about that.
“English, have a seat.” Mom smiled and took my hand. “Your father and I have made a huge decision. After lots of conversations, we’ve decided to build a new house, further out of the city.”
I was crushed. This was the house, the area of town where we’d always lived. “No!” I protested.
Dad chuckled. “Too late, munch. The plans have been drawn up