to talk about it, though. I’m tired of thinking about it right now. Can we maybe talk about something else? What did you do today?”
“I replaced a fuel pump. That’s about it.” His hand that hadn’t left my knee squeezed slightly as his lip curled into a small smirk. “I know what you need.” Then he leaned over, kissing my neck.
This wasn’t why I’d called him over.
Actually…maybe it was.
I closed my eyes as my nipples grew taut in response to his warm lips brushing against the soft skin of my neck. What better way to clear my mind?
Because I had no argument, I stood, taking his hand in mine as we headed toward my bedroom.
* * *
I climbed back in bed, having finished another cigarette, and looked at Justin’s back as he lay in my bed, softly snoring. Amazing sex should have done the trick and yet here I was still tossing shit around in my head. I’d drifted off for all of twenty minutes and then woke up again—but now I had some solid theories.
The first was that Justin was the problem with Sarah. Somehow, some way, and maybe not (God, I hoped not) intentionally.
The second was me, that I was the problem. I’d started college classes two nights a week a little over a year ago. Maybe being gone more had caused Sarah to retreat into a shell…and become angry.
I let out a long breath, pulling my knees close to my chest, gazing at Justin’s outline. The lights were off in my room, but the nightlight in the hallway shone inside. God, I didn’t want to believe Justin had anything to do with Sarah’s change in behavior any more than I wanted to blame myself—but I had to face facts: either scenario was a possibility, and I’d have to explore both notions further.
Even in the dim light, my eyes were able to focus on part of the tribal tattoo painted on his back. The black wavy swirls over the entire breadth of his left shoulder had always fascinated me. Then I drank in his mass of longish dirty-blond hair. While he’d never let it grow past his shoulders, the unconventional length gave him a bit of a bad boy look, and I had to admit I liked that. I’d never said a word about it to him, but I suspected he knew anyway. Justin was one of the most confident men I’d ever met, and I knew he had no doubt that lots of women lusted after him. In fact, I was pretty certain he’d learned over the years how to play on his looks.
Jesus. I had to get some sleep or I’d have a hell of a time getting Devon to school tomorrow. I lay down, snuggling up to Justin, draping my arm over his torso while bringing my head close to his neck, breathing in the almost nonexistent scent of his cologne.
But I lay there as one minute ticked on to the next and the next, and I allowed my eyes to open again so they could trace the outline of that tattoo and I leaned back. After a bit, I rolled over again and started considering having another cigarette. It was then that I felt the motion of Justin rolling over onto his back, but I could barely understand the words he mumbled. “You’re pretty restless tonight.”
“I’ve got a lot on my mind.”
“Let it go, Randi. Just for tonight. It’ll all be there tomorrow.”
Easy for him to say. He’d been sound asleep. “I wish I could.”
What Justin said next surprised me, because it seemed out of character for him—which just hammered home to me how completely closed off I’d been from every soul I claimed to care about.
Except Justin was just a convenient friend, one who’d even called himself nothing more than a fuck buddy.
“It’s a choice. You have to decide to let it go just for now.”
Instead of tuning into his words, I rejected them. “Okay, fine. Then I guess I don’t want to.” I let out a long sigh, sitting up in bed again. “This is my little girl we’re talking about here. Somehow I’ve failed her.”
Justin finally rolled over to face me, his voice now sounding more awake. “Why do you think you’ve failed her?”
“Whatever’s going on with her has been happening for a long time. It took something this drastic for me to decide something needs to be done.”
Propping his chin in his palm, his elbow buried in the pillow, Justin