dramatic… But she never regretted it… Can you imagine loving like that? She left everything for him and this was in an era when women weren’t encouraged to be independent. Grammie said it was the happiest time of her life. They left the estate the day after her eighteenth birthday and married when she was nineteen… She said she’d have married him the day they left, but he wanted her to know what her life would be, what their life would be.”
“I guess he wasn’t from money.”
Pushing to her tiptoes, Poppy whispered like it was a scandal. “The groundskeeper’s apprentice.”
He sucked in a suitably outraged breath. “Disgraceful.”
“Right,” she said, laughing as she snuggled against his side again. “They lived in some dingy apartment, and she worked as a typist.” That broadened her smile. “She flat lied to get the job. What did she know about typing?”
“You admire her.”
“I adore her,” she said, breathing out some of her sorrow.
“You miss her.”
Poppy nodded against him. “She was the one who told me to go. I’m so glad she did, I don’t know how she knew it, but that was the only chance I’d ever get.”
“Do you regret it?”
“No,” she said, pulling his arm further around herself. “I have a lot to learn, but already I’m happier here than I ever was on the Adler Estate.”
Even in spite of not being able to be with the man she wanted to be with.
“Do you think that’s what this is?” he asked. “Us? For you? You’re trying to capture some of what she had.”
The impact of offense was so abrupt, it winded her. Stopping on the spot, she dropped his arm and stepped away. When he turned to her, Poppy felt like she was looking at a stranger. Everything she wanted to see reflected back at her, the adoration, the heat… he’d cheapened all of it.
She didn’t know what to say. Didn’t know how to… Poppy hadn’t intended to fall for Turner, hadn’t wanted to. Nothing about them was forced or contrived, at least not as far as she was concerned. But if he could accuse her of such a thing, there was no way he thought the same. Whatever he believed, she wouldn’t beg him to believe otherwise. If he could think something so disgraceful about her then there was no way he could know her, or that he could feel what she felt. There was nothing fake about what was inside her. Obviously he didn’t feel the same.
ELEVEN
“Excuse me,” Poppy said, not in question, but in statement.
Turning around, she began to walk in the direction of home. Maybe the alcohol was heightening her emotion. Even telling herself to be more rational didn’t diminish her hurt. He’d hurt her. Really struck her deep.
“Pop.” She kept on walking. “Babe, I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” she said when he appeared at her side. “Really, it’s fine.”
“You always do that,” he said. “Something upsets you and rather than talking to me about it, you bottle up whatever’s going on inside and dismiss me like it’s nothing.”
“It is nothing,” she said, licking her lips before forcing them to smile. “It’s really fine.”
“I hurt you,” he said. “It’s about the one thing I’m good at with you.”
“I appreciate your honesty.”
“Stop being so goddamn polite,” he said, sliding a hand onto the back of her neck. “Yell at me, scream. Hell, smack me if it will make you feel better.”
Poppy shrugged off his hand. “That won’t be necessary.”
“That won’t be necessary,” he muttered. “Right. Cool… Then I guess we’re not really necessary, that it?” She didn’t respond, just tried to walk faster. The heat behind her eyes wouldn’t manifest as anything good, she had to get home quickly or she’d embarrass herself… again. “Goddamn it, Candy-Cane, your guy is the one person you’re allowed to lose your shit with. He sees everything the rest of the world doesn’t. If you can’t be honest and cut this polite bullshit with me, you’ll never do it with anyone. You came here for freedom. I’m the freedom. The one guy who will take you any damn way, every damn way and never walk away. This is where you’re honest. This is when it gets real, when we figure out if we’re something real. That starts with honesty, showing me the truth of how you feel. Even when you’re fucking mad.”
That was rich. Poppy was glad that they were approaching their building because the upset was gathering mass into something resembling anger. He had some gall