up, okay? I’m so afraid of saying the wrong thing…of… I have no idea where we stand with each other. None! You might shoot me down. I’ve been agonizing over every conversation we had. Every touch. Every…everything. I still have no idea. Back to you shooting me down. Maybe we’re on different pages. Hell, maybe we’re not even in the same library.”
“Try me!”
“I like you, Raven. I really like you very much…” I pull in a deep breath. “That’s not true.” I scrub a hand over my face. “It’s not true at all.” I pull in a breath.
“It’s not?” She sounds shocked. “Don’t you…um…like me?” She suddenly looks unsure. For the first time, she seems hesitant.
Maybe she’s not as angry. Maybe I have a shot. Maybe, just maybe, I’m still in that window. I might still be in this with a chance.
I’m in the goddamned window!
“It’s more serious than ‘like’. I’m falling for you. I know it’s really soon and that it’s one big mess, but I think I’m falling in love with you.”
She smiles and licks her lips. “Why did you wait so long? There has to be more to this. You’re shy. You’re not used to the whole relationship thing, but I get the feeling that’s not the main reason you took two whole days to talk to me. I watched you fight West. You’re no coward, Stephan.”
“I’m worried you still have feelings for West.”
Her mouth falls open, and she gets this incredulous look. “Are you crazy? Out of your mind, maybe?” she growls.
“You told Maddox not to hurt him.”
“Maddox is the son of Ares. Hurting turns to bleeding which turns to death. He’s accidentally killed a few people. They were all bad, but still…” She widens her eyes.
“You were afraid Maddox might kill West?”
She nods. “I was very worried that Maddox would regret it. That was my biggest fear, right then.” She rolls her eyes. “And then, although West probably deserves to die after all he’s pulled…I don’t want him to die. Old habits die hard.”
“That brings me to my second worry. That you might be on the rebound. It’s fine if you are. Maybe we should wait. I’ll wait. You can take your time…as much as you need.”
She smiles at me. “You are so sweet. I’m not on the rebound. I told you that our relationship was pretty much over when we left the weyr. I meant that. When West’s brother died, he…he lost it. I couldn’t break up with him after that. I stood by him as a friend. He ended up in bed with another woman. I was angry, and I broke up with him. I felt disrespected more than hurt. He somehow fixated on me. He decided that us being together would somehow fix how he felt inside…namely, devastated. He and Raider were close.” She rubs her lips together. “West and Raider had a shitty upbringing. Their mother was…” Raven looks upset. “She died when they were teenagers. It left a big hole in West. He somehow thought he could save her. Get her straight. He was the one who found her.”
“That’s terrible.” I mean it. I can’t imagine.
“Then Raider…” She shudders. “West is all kinds of messed up.”
“What happened when you confronted him?” I ask.
She sighs. “It wasn’t fun. He tried to defend himself. He still maintains his love for me. Says you’re trying to paint him with an evil brush.”
“Me?” I raise my brows.
She nods. “We told him we all need our space. I think he might leave town. He said something along those lines to Maddox. I hope he stays. He just met Trident. He still has family. It could be great for him if he stayed.”
“You want West to stay?” I feel something clench inside me. I hear that voice of doubt. It’s the one I hate.
She gives me this look. “Are you jealous?”
I swallow hard. “Yes, big fucking time. If you keep talking, I might need to find West and beat his ass again. If he even thinks about starting his shit, I’ll—” Raven reaches up and closes her lips over mine.
I put my arms around her and deepen the kiss. It feels like forever since I touched her. This feels so right. So real.
She moans against my mouth, like maybe, just maybe she feels the same. Raven pulls back. Her gorgeous green eyes are locked with mine.
“What?” I say.
“I’m falling for you too, Stephan.”
I lean in to kiss her again, but she turns away, keeping her arms