“Jared…” There was so much she wanted to say.
“No.” He shook his head regretfully, reaching out to touch her cheek with a caress so light, so tender she felt it rock her soul. “Just remember that, baby. You know where I’m at if you need me. Always.”
She had to look away from him or she would never hold back her tears. How was she walking away from him? She could feel everything inside her screaming out in rage that she would do so.
“Go,” he said then. “You’ll be late getting back if you don’t leave soon.”
Her lips trembled as she turned back to him. She blinked fiercely to hold back her tears, fighting her head and her heart as she stared up at him.
She loved him. She could feel the emotion exploding within her, violently protesting the decision to leave, to stand firm to the vow she had made so long ago.
“I want…” He cut her words off, laying his fingers against her lips as he flinched slightly.
“Don’t, Kimber,” he whispered. “Don’t make letting you go impossible for me to do. Or for you to do. There’s always tomorrow. We aren’t saying goodbye, remember?”
She licked her lips, feeling her soul shatter. God help her. He loved her. She could see it in his eyes, in that crooked, pain-filled smile that was hers alone. It was hers alone because he loved her.
She was barely aware of the whimper that left her throat but there was no mistaking the strength, the need in his body as he jerked her against him, holding her tight to his chest, sheltering her with his big body as one hand held her head to him.
“Listen to me,” he growled fiercely. “You don’t have to say anything, Kimber. You don’t have to do anything. Come back when you need to. Know I’ll be here. That’s all. Damn you, this isn’t forever. I won’t let it be.”
He pulled her head back, his fingers tangling in her hair, destroying the perfection of the intricate braid she had painstakingly worked the strands into. But she didn’t care. He was holding her, his lips were on hers, his tongue taking possession of her mouth, wiping away the destructive agony piercing her soul. It wasn’t goodbye. Not yet.
One hand gripped her hip, rocking her against his erection as his mouth ate at hers, his groan vibrating against her lips as the hunger that raged between them began to gnaw at her resolve.
“Damn, you’re going to send me up in flames right here in my driveway, woman. Is that any example for me to set for my work hands?” He dragged his lips from hers, a weary, entirely false spurt of laughter leaving his lips as he stared down at her. “I’m too old for this, baby. Now get out of here, so I can get some work done.”
He stepped back from her, ripping her heart from her chest when he did so.
“Go on,” his voice softened as he nodded at the jeep. “I’ll see you soon.”
She backed away. She couldn’t turn away from him.
“Soon?” She heard the desperate plea in her own voice.
“Very soon, baby,” he promised. “Anytime you need me.”
“What about when you need me?” she wondered aloud.
His expression flinched. A subtle expression of pain that had her stilling the cry in her throat.
“I’ll always need you, Kimber,” he said softly, roughly. “Always.”
* * * * *
She had turned away from him. Walked away. With every step she felt the regret grow, felt the knowledge weighing on her soul. She was making the same choice five generations of women before her had made. She was choosing the past over the future.
The further she drove away from him, the more that knowledge was driven home. In the space of a year, he had steadily weakened her resolve, shown her laughter, patience, and a hunger she hadn’t known could exist. He had filled her dreams, waking and asleep, and he had reshaped her views of herself.
“What now?” she asked aloud, unwilling to hold back the pain, unable to bear the separation in silence.
“Only you can answer that one, Kimberly.” Matthews reminded her that she wasn’t alone, and that the rest of the world wasn’t blind. “He’s a good man. I hope you know that.”
She glanced over at him, seeing the compassion and sympathy in his eyes.
“He’s the best,” she said slowly, her gaze returning to the road as her fingers clenched on the steering wheel.
“My daddy always said anything worth having was worth waiting on,” he finally said philosophically. “Guess you’ll have to find that one out for yourself though, huh?”