Chapter Sixteen
Jared stood inside the shower, feeling the spray pounding on his back as he leaned his forehead against the tile wall. His eyes were closed, every muscle tight with the effort to control the raging demand that pounded through his body and his mind.
She was his, goddammit. The fierce demand raged through his mind. His heart. His f**king soul and he was wasting away beneath the force of the water rather than laying in satisfied exhaustion in her arms.
The ménage with Ian should have stilled part of the hunger, but it only made it worse. It wasn’t enough. Nothing he knew now would ever truly be enough until he took her as he was meant to.
His c**k was like living stone, near to bursting with the raging of his emotions. He could taste her on his tongue, feel her on his skin. He could still hear her ragged cry as she convulsed beneath him. Did she even realize what she had cried? Could she know the effect her words had on him?
“…not enough…oh God, Jared, it’s not enough…” The words had been a ragged, nearly incoherent cry as she shuddered through her earlier orgasm.
No, it hadn’t been enough. It would never be enough.
Would he live another five f**king years before he could claim her? He grit his teeth at the thought of it. It would be a hell he could have never imagined before now. Hell yes, he would wait. But it would f**king kill him.
“Jared?” Her voice was a whisper of hunger, of the needs that raged within him as well.
He opened his eyes, ignoring the water that poured over him as his turned to meet her gaze.
Her green eyes were dark with pain, with goodbye. Fuck. Not yet. He wasn’t ready yet.
“The Agency just called.” His heart clenched at the sound of her voice, at the misery in it. “The threat has been deemed a prank. I’ve been called back first thing in the morning.”
She had put her robe back on, had belted it tightly around her waist and pushed her hands deep into the little pockets at the side. Her hands were clenched, her fingers bunched together to restrain the pain he saw reflected in her gaze.
“Fuck.” What now? Damn them, he wasn’t ready to let her go, wasn’t prepared to do without her warmth in his bed. Son of a bitch, he had just managed to get her into it.
“Jared…” He watched her swallow convulsively; saw the regret that filled her eyes, and the tears.
“No!” he growled.
Straightening abruptly he jerked her into the shower, ignoring her gasp, pushing aside the knowledge that no matter how hard he wanted, how much he loved, that it was time for her to go.
“I’ll always be here.” His arms wrapped around her, pulled her against his chest as he maneuvered his body to protect her from the full force of the water. “Always Kimber. I’ll be right here, baby, anytime you need me. Anyway you want me. I’ll be here.”
Her arms tightened around his shoulders, holding fiercely to him as he felt the heat of her tears against his chest. God surely hadn’t meant for a man to have to endure this sorrow? He prayed for mercy, because he couldn’t cry with her.
* * * * *
Leaving the farm was the hardest thing Kimberly had ever done in her life. She didn’t think she would have the strength to do it. Not after the past night. Not after the realizations she had come to herself.
But she did it. She threw her suitcase into the SUV where Matthews sat waiting on her. The others had left hours before, eager to get back to the offices, file their reports and head into more adventurous assignments. Kimberly hadn’t been able to tear herself away as easily.
Jared stood behind her silently. He had watched her pack, his expression worn, his gaze turbulent. But he hadn’t made any demands, hadn’t asked for any promises, he was simply letting her go. Reluctantly, she could tell, but he was letting her go.
She turned back to him as she closed the rear door, staring up at him, realizing that the pain in her chest was more than just regret. It was a hollow, gaping wound she feared would never ease.
“Remember to let Mother know when you’re back in town,” he told her softly. “She worries, even if she never says anything.”
Kimberly nodded, smiling though her heart was breaking. “First thing,” she agreed.
“And don’t drive too fast,” he growled. “Matthews told me you scared the hell out of him on the way up here. The man has a family to feed you know. Stop risking his life.”
She would have laughed if it hadn’t hurt so damned bad.
“And remember, you always have a place to stay here,” he finished. “Anytime, Kimber. All the time.”
She wanted to weep at the softness of his voice.