as she could almost as though bracing against what was to come. She pulled absently on the cuff of her jeans trying to beat back the fear.
"Nathalie, if what happened in Tanzania was so bad I don't understand why you would want to go back there."
"It wasn't Tanzania" she said quietly.
"I thought...I thought you said you were living in Tanzania."
"I was. I am. But when I first moved to Africa I was living in the Congo."
Eric went completely quiet and waited for her to continue. Despite his absolute hunger for knowledge, he wouldn't rush her. If they were going to figure out what was next for them and for Jack she needed to know she could trust him.
"I moved to Geneva when I....when I left." Her voice remained quiet and he found himself leaning forward to make sure he heard her. "I had an offer of a fellowship. I was just finishing up the first year when Jack was born. He was big - just over eight pounds." She smiled at the memory. "But just before I went off on maternity leave, I was offered a position with an NGO in southern Congo to help establish a hospital in a village. They had nurses but no doctors and the hospital in Geneva thought I would be the right fit. They assured me that it was a good environment for a baby - the village had lots of children and was very family oriented and so I went."
Eric tried to quiet the small echoes of resentment growing inside him. He knew it was petty to be jealous of her pursuing a dream they had shared but he was. Exhaling slowly, he silently urged her to carry on.
"The village was great" she told him. "It was isolated and lacking in many modern conveniences but it was a happy place. The nurses were eager to learn and we worked at setting up a hospital. I delivered a lot of babies in the first two months" she laughed lightly.
Eric laughed as well. Obstetrics had been her least favorite rotation and she had always sworn she would never go back.
"I actually got quite good at it" she admitted. "Jack settled in really well and the other children loved him. There was always a line up of young girls who wanted to play with the baby. He didn't lack for attention or love."
Her tone was one of assurance as though she wanted him to be sure Jack was wanted and she had loved him. She needn't have worried, he had never truly doubted that.
"But the third month there it all.....it all came crashing to an end." As her hands started to shake, she pulled nervously on her fingers. Her tongue darted from her mouth and swiped at her suddenly dry lips.
Eric got to his feet and headed to the kitchen. He returned with a glass of water and handed it to her. She thirstily gulped it down before setting it on the table.
She couldn't quite meet his eyes as she struggled to find the words. "It....it was late" she said softly. "Everyone was asleep when I heard this blood curdling scream. I woke up and looked out the window of my little house but couldn't see anything. And then there seemed to be this burst of light. There were.....soldiers standing in the village. They were calling people out of their homes and when people wouldn't come out they would break down the doors and drag the men outside."
Eric found he was holding his breath as she spoke, his mind already racing ahead to a hundred horrific possibilities.
"They were..." her voice trailed off and as she shivered, she pulled her legs closer to her chest. "They were randomly attacking them with machetes. The screams were horrible" she whispered. "And then they started attacking the women." She brought her head to rest on her knees as she clenched her eyes shut.
"Nathalie," he called to her urgently. He moved closer to her on the couch and gently touched her shoulder. "Were you.....were you...."
He could not bring himself to even say the words. A knot was forming in the pit of his stomach.
Lifting her head slightly, she gave a small shake. "No."
Unable to stop himself, he cupped her face with his hands and pressed a long, lingering kiss to her forehead. "Thank god," he whispered.
"They found my house though and they dragged me outside with the rest of the villagers - my friends. And they found out that I was