looking out the window. It was as if her mind had already left Lonesome Dove and moved up the trail. Jake sat up and put his arms around her. He loved the way she smelled in the mornings; he liked to sniff at her shoulders or her throat. He did it again. She didn’t reject these little morning attentions, but she didn’t encourage them either. She waited for him to leave and go buy the horse, running over in her mind the few things she could take with her. There was not much. Her favorite thing was a mother-of-pearl comb Tinkersley had bought her when they first got to San Antonio. She had a thin gold ring that had been her mother’s, and one or two other trifles. She had never liked to buy things; in Lonesome Dove it didn’t matter, for there was nothing much to buy.
Jake sat and scratched himself for a while, smelling Lorie’s flesh and hoping she would encourage him, but since she didn’t, he finally got dressed and went off to see about horses and equipment.
Before Jake had been gone ten minutes Lorena got a surprise. There was a timid knock at her door. She opened it a peek and there was Xavier, standing on the stairs in tears. He just stood there looking as if it was the end of the world, tears running down his cheeks and dripping onto his shirt. She didn’t know what to make of it, but since she wasn’t dressed, she didn’t want to let him in.
“Is it true, what Jake says?” he asked. “You are leaving today?”
Lorena nodded. “We’re going to San Francisco,” she said.
“I want to marry you,” Xavier said. “Do not go. If you go I don’t want to live. I will burn the place down. It’s a filthy place anyway. I will burn it tomorrow.”
Well, it’s your place, she thought. Burn it if you want to. But she didn’t say it. Xavier had not been unkind to her. He had given her a job when she didn’t have a penny, and had paid promptly for whatever services he required. Now he was standing on the stairs, so wrought up he could hardly see.
“I’m going,” she said.
Xavier shook his head in despair. “But Jake is not true,” he said. “I know him. He will leave you somewhere. You will never get to San Francisco.”
“I’ll get there,” Lorena said. “If Jake don’t stay, I’ll get there with someone else.”
He shook his head. “You will die somewhere,” he said. “He’ll take you the wrong way. We could marry. I will sell this place. We can go to Galveston and take a boat for California. We can get a restaurant, there. I have Therese’s money. We can get a clean restaurant, with tablecloths. You won’t have to see men anymore.”
Except I’d have to see you, she thought.
“Let me come in,” he said, “I will give you anything… more than Gus.”
She shook her head. “Jake would kill you,” she said. “You go on now.”
“I can’t,” he said, still crying. “I am dying for you. If he kills me I would be better. I will give you anything.”
Again she shook her head, not quite sure what to think. She had seen Xavier have fits before, but usually fits of anger. This fit was different. His chest was heaving and his eyes poured tears.
“You should marry me,” he said. “I will be good to you. I am not like these men. I have manners. You would see how kind I would be. I would never leave you. You could have an easy life.”
Lorena just kept shaking her head. The most interesting thing he said was about the boat. She didn’t know much, but she knew Galveston was closer than Denver. Why was Jake wanting to ride to Denver, if they could take a boat?
“You better leave,” she said. “I don’t want Jake to catch you up here. He might shoot you.”
“No!” Xavier exclaimed. “I will shoot him! I have a shotgun. I will shoot him when he comes back if you don’t let me in.”
Lorena hardly knew what to think. It was crazy behavior. Xavier didn’t seem to want to budge from the stairs. He did own a shotgun. It was not likely Jake would let someone as pitiful as Xavier shoot him, but then if he shot Xavier, that would be almost as bad. He already had his Arkansas trouble from shooting someone. They might not get to leave if there