I think they're going to Disney World.” But she couldn't imagine going to Vermont with Brock, no matter how sympathetic he was or how well she knew him. And Brock could easily see her hesitation.
“Why don't you think about it? It'll be lonely for you here.”
“All right,” she promised, but didn't really mean it.
He stayed for a little while, and then he left, and she went to bed, thinking how lucky she was to have such good friends. And the next morning she felt surprisingly better. Until she looked in the mirror again, and saw that more hair had fallen out during the night. There were three huge locks of it in her scarf, and she had a crazy urge to save it. And when she looked in the mirror, she saw that parts of her scalp were already showing. It made her cry again. She was losing everything. She didn't even feel like a woman now, just a thing, a body that was falling apart slowly. She hastily put her scarf back on before Annabelle came in, and she was surprised to see Sam with her when she went to make her breakfast. He had already given her cornflakes.
“You look pretty, Mommy,” Annabelle said, admiring a dark green suit, and a matching scarf she had found in a drawer. She actually looked very chic and very European.
“What's that all about?” He smiled at her, amused. She looked very glamorous, which was an unusual look for her at the office. “Going somewhere today?” he asked, purely conversationally. He was trying to be pleasant, and Alex knew it. He had no idea why she was wearing the scarf, and he wasn't sensitive enough to guess, so she didn't tell him.
“I have an appointment this morning.” She had an appointment at a wig store on Sixtieth Street where Dr. Webber had sent her. She said they had great styles and varied shades, and were very helpful with her kind of problem. “Do we need to talk about Christmas again?” Alex asked him across his paper. “I know Annabelle is going to be here with me, and then you're taking her, was it on the twenty-sixth? For a week?”
“I'm taking her to Disney World until the first, and then I'm flying back here, and leaving for Switzerland.” He smiled at Annabelle. “And I'll be back on her birthday.”
“Sounds like a tight schedule,” Alex said tartly, wondering where he was going. “Are you going to be here on Christmas with us, or do you have other plans?” she asked coldly as Annabelle's face fell.
“You're not going to be here, Daddy?”
“Of course I am,” he reassured her, and looked daggers at Alex. “We'll all be together for Christmas.” She looked immediately relieved, and Alex sat back in her chair and closed her eyes, fighting a wave of nausea. It was so exhausting being with him, and even being with Annabelle sometimes. They took so much from her. It took so much energy just giving them what they needed, and fighting for her survival and dignity with Sam. It was an uphill battle she just didn't have the strength for.
Sam took Annabelle to school, and Alex went straight downtown to the wig store. She felt hesitant when she walked in, but she was amazed at the extent of their selection. Dr. Webber had been right and in a very short time, Alex had picked out two very expensive wigs that looked just like her own hair, and then a shorter pageboy she really liked, and a really short one that looked like Annabelle's curls, all in her coppery natural color. She paid for them by check, and cautiously put one on. If anything it was even more lush and a little longer than her own hair, and it was beautifully styled and very glamorous. It was a great look with her green suit, and she tied the scarf around her neck and felt human again. It was amazing the difference hair made. She realized she had been stupid not to buy them sooner.
“Wow! Look at you!” Brock whistled as she walked into her office, and Liz smiled from ear to ear. She knew where Alex had been and she was pleased to see her looking as well as she did. She was still very pale, but she looked a lot better than she had the day before. “Did you go to the hairdresser?” Brock asked, and then suddenly felt stupid when he remembered what Liz had