up was a swinging dagger, bleeding him in waves, and his head had been a fucking mess ever since the moment he’d opened up her letter and seen that picture of Sam.
Wes pulled the picture out now and stared at it. “His face,” he murmured.
Summer swallowed audibly. “The picture doesn’t even do the scars justice. Prepare yourself for when you see him.”
“He died that night, you know. I remember. You talked about your wolf giving you that photographic memory.” He shook his head, unable to take his eyes from the grainy picture of Sam. “Me, too. I was right in middle of Changing for the first time. Felt like I was dying. Hunter was behind me in the woods. I could hear him choking on his own blood. Sam was doing the same. Fuck.” He squeezed his eyes closed at the pain of the memory. “We didn’t know werewolves existed or what Leif wanted with us. Just thought he was a friend. He waited a whole year to Turn us. Got in close, made us care about him, made us protective of him. And then he shredded us on a camping trip. I was sitting there on my knees, holding my big brother as he told me to take care of Hunter. I watched the life fade from his eyes.”
Wes opened his eyes and looked at Summer, cleared his throat. “I hated Leif in that moment. Hated him for what he’d done. Would never forgive him. Would hunt him down. Losing Sam did something awful to me, and for a while, it did something awful to my wolf. And you tried to be there for me. You were. You didn’t know what I’d turned into, but you knew I was different, and awful, and had no redeemable qualities anymore. And what did you do?”
“Wes…” she whispered, dropping her gaze.
“Say it. What did you do?”
“Stayed loyal to you.”
“I fuckin’ loved you, Summer. The wolf saw what you were trying to do. You were listening when I was telling you how confused I felt. How much I wanted to fight. How dark I was on my insides. He saw you trying to put me back together, and he fuckin’ loved you, too. Every bit as much as the man in me loved you. He loved you too much. Wanted to keep you in a way that made sense to him, and he bit you. That wasn’t me,” Wes said, beating his fist against his chest to ease the pain. “I didn’t do that. I wasn’t even fuckin’ there. I have no memory of it. I would’ve never done to you what Leif did to me, or did to my brothers. But I had. I came to, and I watched you break. For three days, I watched you Change uncontrollably. You broke and you hurt and it killed me to watch it, and I did something horrible.”
“You left me.”
“Yeah. I left so I didn’t have to see it. So I didn’t have to see what I’d done. So I didn’t have to feel the hurt that you were in because that bond was wrecking me. And I’m weak. I’m a fucking coward, and I ran from the pain that I’d caused the one person who had ever really truly tried to get inside me and accept me.” Fuckin’ tears. Wes wiped his hands down his beard and shoved the door open. “I’m sorry,” he murmured, getting out.
“You running again?” she said, her voice shaking.
Wes forced himself to look at her, to see the tears in her eyes because he earned every minute of the ache she allowed him to see. “I ain’t running again. You want to shit on me for what I done? Do it. I deserve it. I fucked up, but you know what? No more. You don’t know how to be a werewolf because of my mistakes, and I’m gonna teach you now. And maybe it’s too late. Maybe she’s set in her ways and will always be hard to control. But I’m gonna try.”
Anger fused to her words. “Even if it hurts you to do it?”
“Even if it hurts.” Stupid, stupid, stupid tears escaping him. Thickly he said, “You should know…I never really left you.”
Chapter Four
Even if it hurts. You should know…I never really left you.
Wes shut the door and walked around the front of the truck toward the hotel office, while Summer sat there like a bump on a log, completely frozen, wolf drawn up, and silent. For