the MEEP world, though I’ve never seen it, nor has he. Chang insists that the Black is dangerous, that it will fry your brain if you even touch it. I think Chang’s been reading too many conspiracy theories—the kind of viral “news” manufactured by bored teens and internet trolls who like to incite hysteria for kicks.
“Yeah, Moose, watch out for Bigfoot too, I hear he’ll rip your head off if you even make eye contact,” I say, nudging him with my elbow.
“Whatever,” says Moose, “I just want to know what my reward is when I beat the pants off you two scrubs.”
“Winner gets the last piece of pie,” replies Chang, ignoring my previous snark. “Losers scrub the pots and pans.”
Moose and I murmur our agreement as we fiddle with our device settings.
“Begin weapons draft. Nixy goes first,” continues Chang, like he’s initiating countdown on a nuclear deployment.
“Ultra crossbow,” I say, eager to test my Christmas exchange gift in timed battle.
“Optic boomerang,” says Moose, pretending to fling one through the living room. “Gonna take the crack-a-lacking heads right off those boneheads, CR-ACK, CR-ACK, till they cry wee wee wee all the way home!”
“Explosive slingshot,” says Chang, oblivious to Moose’s theatrics.
“Mage staff,” I continue, selecting it from my inventory.
“Double wrist daggers,” says Moose, slicing his hands through the air like a juiced-up ninja. “Gonna slice ’em to pieces, leave a pile of bones in my wake. Hope you suckers got your dish gloves ready.”
“Samurai kanabo,” intones Chang. “Ready in five, four, three . . .”
We each adjust our ear trans and when Chang says, “Go!” we clip them to our studs.
When I wake up, I run right through the Landing and out the door to Rapunzel’s Tower. I’ve already equipped myself via the external settings on my device so I don’t waste time going through my inventory now. Time is precious if I want to win, and I always want to win. I may not be a trash-talker like Moose or possess Chang’s precision mind, but I have my own strategy that serves me well in the gaming world. On the outside, I play it casual, let the competition think I’m an easy mark, the first man down in battle. On the inside, I’m a machine.
As I book it to Rapunzel’s Tower, I hear the skeleton horde screaming their battle cries in the distance, though I can’t see them yet. The tower’s nothing but a tall, skinny stone turret, just like the pages from a fairy tale, a popular choice for the timed battles we play.
We invented these mini-games after we got our MEEP piercings a year ago. Since the MEEP only offers a single-player option, there’s no way for us to play together, like we did in the nonvirtual game platforms. They say a multi-player MEEP is in the works, but due to various liability issues with the neuroscience involved, it’ll be another year or two before its release. For now, “crisscrossing,” or playing across worlds, is a straight-up no-no except for licensed beta testers like me. And even I have to be careful about not abusing my beta code, or the MEEP admins will toss me out of the chowder like a bad clam.
Our mini-game rules, strictly enforced by Chang, go like this. First, we agree upon the constants: same setting, same enemy, same length of time, same number of weapons. Then we run a draft pick for the weapons—no overlap allowed, since they’re the variables in the equation. Next, we place our wagers—losers pay for chili dogs at the Pound, winner gets to set rules for next game, things like that—to stoke the competition. Finally, we battle, each in our own MEEP worlds. After the allotted time, we come back together and compare notes. Whoever destroys the most enemies before dying (or if you’re lucky, before time’s up) wins.
Afterward Chang writes up the results in his game log to share with LEGION, his online MEEP Geek community. Those guys are all about the data and figuring out how to use it to hack the MEEP. They’re probably responsible for the Black rumors, too. According to LEGION, Diego Salvador is the Russian czar of the gaming world, and they are the rural peasants, trying to topple the empire brick by virtual brick.
Moose, on the other hand, couldn’t care less about stats, efficiency ratios, or how to exploit glitches; he plays solely for bragging rights. And me? I love the rush it gives me, kind of like a runner’s high, I