as Josh loved and took care of our baby, then nothing else mattered. Nothing about his past or my past mattered. We had done this together. We had created this life together.
Josh pointed to a picture of a cat swatting at a balloon. “Do you think the cat got the balloon? Or did they pull it away?”
“What? Do you really care about that?”
“I don’t know. I’m just amazed that someone set this up. And someone bought it.”
“Josh…”
He stared at the picture of the cat. “I lost myself, Amelia. Really bad. I had a couple of events with Sasha that went well. I was hanging around Michelle, stuck in feelings that were different than hers. Yet I couldn’t get away. I knew I was hurting her, but I didn’t care. And then guys like Azor, who meant well, were just as destructive in their own way. I felt like I was walking this fine line each day and it got exhausting. So, one night after getting as drunk as I had ever been in my life, I decided to go find…” Josh looked at me.
“Delilah?” I whispered.
“Yeah. I went back to her house. And I didn’t actually just go back. I went inside.”
“Inside?”
“I broke in,” Josh said. “My mind and heart were a wreck, love. I thought I was back in time and coming to save her. Coming to make it so she didn’t leave my life. I wanted to make everything right and live up to the promises I used to silently keep to myself.”
“What happened?”
“The people who lived there woke up. Found a drunk Josh stumbling around their house calling out the name of someone who didn’t live there anymore. They were an older couple. The man had a bat and wasted no time in hitting me with it. He could have killed me, but he hit me in the ribs to take me down. I pleaded with them to call Aaron. He came and saved my ass. He was there for everything. With the police.”
“The police?”
“I broke into a house, love. I should be sitting in jail right now. But the woman - her name was Angie - she sort of stuck up for me. It was a blur for me as Aaron busted his ass to help keep me from getting into serious trouble. But he made me promise him to go talk to someone. To figure everything out. So, I call it the meeting. I go and talk.”
“Josh, I had no idea,” I said. “Why didn’t you tell me…”
“Do we need a reminder that you came to me digging for a story.”
“There was never any story," I said. “I would never do that to you. Do you have any idea what you mean to me? Back then and now? My entire heart revolved around you. How do you think I feel right now finding out I’m probably second best to someone else?”
Josh lowered his head and shook it. “That’s what you don’t get.”
“What?”
He looked at me. “Everything, love. You were close to the edge when you’d come find me. You don’t get where that could have gone. And my life was a mess. Us meeting up again and getting together wasn’t part of this.”
“Since when do you have a plan in life?”
“When it comes to protecting you, it's the only plan I’ve ever had.”
“What about Delilah? Did you protect her? Or were you protecting me as a way to make sure we didn’t find out about each other?”
“It’s not like that at all.”
I stood on my two feet now. I was the one feeling protective. And it wasn’t over Josh.
“Then tell me what it was like.”
“My father showed up with Delaney. Then he left for good. He started another family. You know all that. You know what I did to his house over and over, which did nothing to help me. There was a girl that lived next door to me. We were best friends. True best friends. Like me and Aaron except she understood me more because of the way she lived. Her father was raising her on his own. We leaned on each other. She was the first girl I felt things for.”
“Let me guess, Delilah,” I said in a cocky voice.
“No. Not at all. Her name was Lilah. And she moved to Texas a week before I found out Delaney was sick. She was there and then she was gone. Gone when I needed someone to be there for me. Everything in my