What used to be a living room was where Murph stood with his foot on Derrick’s chest. Derrick was bleeding from his nose and his eye.
Murph had the knife in his hand.
“What did you do?” I asked Murph.
“Hey. There you are, man,” he said. “I was waiting for you. Figured you’d be late…”
“I showed up,” I said.
“You were with her again,” Murph said. “I can see it on your face. Everything changes when you’re with her.”
“No, Murph, it wasn’t that at all.”
“I know you and Delilah are getting really real,” Murph said. “That’s a little out of the normal for us. You have to be careful.”
“What are you doing with Derrick?” I asked to change the subject.
The whole Delilah and Amelia thing was a big mess in my head and heart. And nobody understood it but me.
Murph looked down at Derrick. “Well, I got him to piss himself. He realizes who he’s fucking with. And he didn’t fuck Cassie, right?”
“Who the fuck is Cassie, man?” Derrick cried out. “I don’t know anyone named Cassie.”
“Yes, you do,” Murph growled.
He moved fast, dropping down to his knees, bringing the tip of the knife to Derrick’s throat.
I moved forward and pulled Murph back. “Not worth it, man. You kill him and you’re gone away for good. He’s got the warning.”
“Does he?” Murph asked.
I reached down and grabbed Derrick by the shirt. I helped him to his feet.
He was scared. He was crying. He really had no idea what he was doing here.
“You going to tell people you fucked Cassie?” I asked him.
“No,” he said. “I don’t even know…”
“You never talk about fucking someone,” I said. “Ever.”
“Deal,” he said.
“Deal?” Murph asked. “This isn’t a business transaction. This is a beat down.”
“Yeah, it is,” I said.
I drove Derrick back and slammed him against a wall. The wall crumbled like it was made of paper. I turned and threw Derrick like he was a toy. He flew across the living room and smashed into an old radiator.
He cried out and crumpled to the floor, hugging himself.
“Fuck that guy,” I said to Murph. “Go get Cassie right now. Get your reward.”
“What about you?” he asked. “You can’t be alone tonight. Where’s Delilah? She coming around tonight? I know you and her love the midnight fucks.”
“Don’t ask,” I said.
“Hey,” Murph said. “One time only. You and me. We can both have Cassie. I’ll share her with you. Once.”
“I’ll pass,” I said.
I pushed by Murph and left the house.
I couldn’t stand the smell. The sights. The sounds.
The temptations either.
The house was the face of hell. A real hell.
I walked alone.
My head down.
Because I didn’t want anyone to know I was crying.
Gram sat in her chair, her hands shaking like she was nervous. She was glued to the TV. It was the only thing she could do. Just watch TV. She would have me put on a channel and that was it. If she tried to use the remote, there was a chance she would hit a button and mess up the TV.
I stood in the entrance to the living room and watched the glow of the TV bounce off her face.
This was a woman who carried the world.
She took me in. She gave me hell when I needed it.
If it wasn’t for her…
“How was your night?” she asked in a weak voice without looking away from the TV.
“Fine. Do you need anything?”
“No. Show’s starting soon.”
“Anything good?”
“No,” she said.
I lowered my head and went upstairs.
The right thing to do would be to hit the bed and sleep.
It would hurt in the morning.
I would never forget the sight of Amelia wanting to kiss me. Or the way I pushed her away. Or how that must have made her feel. The worst part was if she felt ugly or not worthy of me, then she hurried off to give herself to some random guy just to feel something. Those images filled me with a raging jealousy.
I skipped my bedroom and went to the back bedroom.
Where Delaney had slept.
Where her little pink bed was, along with her pink dresser. And all her clothes hung up in the closet. Her favorite lamp on the nightstand. The one with the unicorns.
I opened the door and flicked on the light.
The room didn’t smell like Delaney. It smelled like Delaney when she was sick. And there was a very big difference between the two.
I looked around and felt my stomach do a flip.
I turned off the light, ran into the bathroom and threw