“I would live a thousand tragedies for the taste of one kiss, love,” he whispered. “I would relive everything from the first day until now just to see your face one more time. There never was Delilah. Just Amelia. Delilah was the ghost, the shadow, the broken hope that filled my heart when I told myself you would be happy somewhere else. Delilah was never supposed to hurt me, but she did. And it was my own doing. Until the second I saw you again. It came rushing back. No amount of whiskey could chase you away. You have me, Amelia. Today. Tomorrow. For as long as you want. Or need. But you… you are my forever…”
I looked down at the letter.
Josh had just spoken the rest of the letter, word for word.
I folded it back up and dropped it.
I didn’t need to read his words.
I had them to hear.
I turned to face him.
He was shirtless, because I was wearing his shirt.
He touched my sides and I put my hands around his neck.
It looked like we were doing the pathetic middle school slow dance.
Except there was no music.
And we weren’t swaying.
It was just us, our eyes, all the truths we’d always known, but never faced.
The words forever and everything weren’t good enough.
“I bet she’ll have your eyes,” Josh whispered.
“She?”
He nodded.
“You can predict the future?”
“Sometimes,” he said.
“Oh really?”
“In three seconds, I’m going to steal your breath, make your heart race, and waste the rest of these early morning hours loving you.”
“That’s a bold-”
“Three, two, one,” Josh said.
He kissed me.
He scooped me up.
He was right.
My breath was gone.
My heart raced.
And he took me back to bed.
There was no place I’d ever felt safer in my life.
Chapter 48
A Meeting VI
A LITTLE WHILE LATER
(Josh)
“I had a new dream.”
“Oh? Are you willing to share it?”
“Yeah,” I said. I stood behind the couch. “They’re all there this time. Everyone. Finally. Together.”
“Everyone?”
“On the plane with me. It’s all of us. Delaney. Gram. Lilah. Amelia. It’s our plane. And we’re just flying through the air. Just living free. And everything is happiness. Delaney looks back at me and gives a wink. She walks to the door and opens it. I’m stuck in my seat, like I always am in the plane dream. I hurry to open the blind over my window. And I see green grass. Somehow the plane is flying so low it’s touching the tips of the blades of grass. It’s impossible…”
“Nothing is impossible in a dream, Josh.”
“Delaney jumps. She lands right in the grass and starts to run. She’s free. I can hear her laughing too. Then Gram goes next. She chases after Delaney in the grass. Lilah starts to laugh, and she jumps next. She goes in a different direction though. Now it’s just me and Amelia. She turns her head and just smiles at me. It’s just us, flying through… whatever.”
“Josh, you look happy right now.”
“It’s a pretty good dream, if you ask me.”
“If that’s how you feel, I like it. All this time you were worried about someone jumping out of the plane. Getting lost. Getting hurt. Flying next to the plane. But now you see they’re happy where they are.”
I laughed. “It’s just a fucking dream. My mind playing in the pool of its own memories like a kid after a rainstorm.”
“That’s a great description.”
“That’s what happens when you live with a writer,” I said with a wink.
“Can we talk about Amelia?”
I pushed away from the couch and motioned to the door. “This is where I say goodbye. For good. I kept my promise to everyone. And I mean, everyone. Now it’s time to keep a promise to myself.”
“Which is?”
I smiled as I opened the door to the office I never wanted to see again. Dr. Haier had been kind, patient, and helpful. She frowned, knowing I wasn’t going to return.
“What’s the promise to yourself, Josh?” she asked as she took off her glasses and shut her notebook.
“To make sure Amelia never gets off that plane… which is our life together.”
Epilogue
MONTHS LATER
(Josh)
I wasn’t a fan of the tux.
It wasn’t my style and even though I was properly fitted for it, it just didn’t feel right on my body. I felt choked. Sweaty. The lights above me were blinding and annoying as hell. The guy overseeing the wedding seemed way too happy to be there. There were too many people, murmurs and sniffles, and I couldn’t stop messing with my hands.