Let Me Find Your Omega - Ashe Moon Page 0,29

was okay to explore my feelings in this situation. I wasn’t in love with Markos, I was just interested in him. All of this was so new to me. Nothing in my lessons had said that I couldn’t explore my feelings, right?

The tea was done, so I pulled out the basket and took the cup with me to my bookshelf, where I kept all of my reading, research, and notes from the academy. I pulled down a dusty binder and flipped through the pages, trying to find some written guidelines from the mentor who had instructed me to abstain from love. I went through one binder and then another and another until finally, I found a scrap of paper in one of the first collections of notes I’d made when I was only around Elise’s age. My handwriting, very messy at the time, was scrawled across the page. I read it aloud.

“To meet my full potential, Professor Lightpaw says I must swear a vow to never be mated, lest my special connection with the spectral realm deteriorate. That’s fine.”

The next line was something about the phases of the moon and its alignment with the Bear Mountain constellation—shame on me, I’d written the information incorrectly—and there was nothing else about the vow.

“Well, it’s a vow to never be mated,” I said to myself. “It wasn’t that I couldn’t go on dates or anything like that. I should certainly be okay, then.”

I folded the paper back up and returned it to the binder. I thought it was interesting how unimportant the note was, just a random line amongst a page of other notes. It hadn’t concerned me much. I remembered how little a priority romance was for me. I was quite a different child from Elise, who was so interested in falling in love herself. I wondered how her little romance was going, and if she would be able to finally introduce herself to her crush. What was his name? Lupin? I hoped my uninformed advice did help her some.

I smiled and felt my heart warm for her. How strange it was that only now could I truly relate to the people I helped. Only now did I understand what that feeling of being interested in someone was like.

Resisting adjusting my glasses, I instead took a sip of my tea, which was still very hot. What a nice gift.

My heart did a little tumble as my mind wandered to memories from the evening. I slapped my hand over my mouth after a delighted squeak forced its way out of nowhere. Hounds of hell, was I fantasizing? I needed to calm myself down—but I couldn’t stop thinking about Markos, and about the reading I was going to do for him.

I hurried outside, stripping naked as I went, letting my clothes fall to the ground in a trail behind me. I turned the valves on my tub and the water filled from the bottom up, a veil of steam rising to the large monstera leaves hanging overhead. Putting down my tea on the little table next to the tub, I lit some candles and incense and climbed inside to wait for the extra-hot bathwater to envelop my body.

My thoughts were still wandering all over the place. Now I was letting them do their thing, and I closed my eyes and enjoyed the memories, fantasies, and ideas that came into my head. What would I learn about him from the reading?

Would Markos ask me out to another dinner? It would be fine if he did. I’d be happy about it. How did he feel about things? Surely, he must only see this as something friendly, nothing more than that. It was for helping his daughter, after all.

But…what if…

Suddenly, an image of Markos in nothing but an apron cooking at my stove popped into my mind. I slapped my hand over my mouth again and snorted. I was fantasizing! But what a fun image it was.

I’d never been with an alpha before. Never touched another cock aside from my own—and even then, I rarely indulged myself. But maybe, now…?

I closed my eyes and let my thoughts continue to run free. What would Markos do to me? What could I do to him? What would it feel like?

My body tingled. Energy surged between my legs, and I quickly grew hard. My glasses completely steamed up, and I set them aside. The heat of the water felt nice around me. Was this what his mouth would feel like?